“When the student is ready the master will be there.”
I used to get so frustrated with those words of wisdom. “Here I am, this student is ripe and ready and where is the master?” Then I thought to myself maybe I just think I am ready but I am not, however that did not stop my yearning to learn. I was born with a hunger for Myth. After I exhausted all available storytellers, and I was fortunate to have quite a few, I could not wait to go to school to learn how to read. As luck would have it one of my parents best friends was the chief librarian at the local library. On weekends and during school holidays I went with her to help in the library, packing away returned books and stamping books, in return I had free reign of the library and I was able to devour every book on myth that I could find.
I never read children’s books. Of course at that age I had no understanding of the deeper meanings but I just felt that somewhere in those ancient stories, were a hidden treasure. Then I started to think that maybe books are the new masters. I must add though that along the way I did find some wonderful masters but was always prevented by physical circumstances to continue my studies with them, not the least reason being in “the utmost end of the world”, under sanctions. But I stray… Even with books I reached a point where I felt that there was just nothing new and I am still yearning. I could open a book flip through it and see that it was just another angle of what I already knew and was practising.
In my adventures into Shamanism I came across something that perplexed me. “In traditional cultures it was mostly the young men who went on quests for a vision, not because a woman couldn’t do it, but because it was not part of her role. ” Urban Shaman – Serge Kahili King. Why was having a vision for the future not part of woman’s role? By now I had learnt that ” Waar daar ‘n rokie is, is daar ‘n vuurtjie.” ” There is no smoke without a little fire somewhere.” Within the heart of the myth there lies an exquisite truth.
Quite by accident one day while browsing through a second hand bookshop I found a book which at last brought me the answer to that question. “The Quest For Maleness” by Theun Mares. He was born in Zimbabwe and is now living in South Africa. “Men and women have discarded the obvious in favour of intellectual complexity, and as a result, have lost touch with their feelings, including those feelings that pertain to the mystery of gender.” Theun Mares. So much is written about the Alpha Male and the Alpha female. The description of the Alpha male is quite clear though distorted into myths that do not bring across the true meaning of maleness. These myths include: Men don’t cry Men are aggressive Men are strong Men must be successful Men are sexual studs As for the Alpha female… well, alas, as someone wrote:” The world’s image, perception of the alpha female is essentially that of the alpha male in drag.”
It is quite clear that we have very distorted images of both what the ultimate in the male and the female should be. No wonder the world is such a “fucked up place”. Excuse the language but it really does describe in the best way where we are with our relationships. As this is such an important subject for our general well being on every level, I feel I need to go into this in greater depth than I thought at first. I will be using Theun Mares’ perspective as a basis because for me, he just hit the nail right on the head as to why we are experiencing such troubles in relationships.
I leave you with the following words from Theun:
” Are there then, no heroes left? Are there no men left on this earth who can step forward to save the world from the greatest catastrophe that has ever befallen the human race? Are all men today so emasculated that they have become nothing more than semen donors, with some doing drugs in a futile effort to numb their minds and feelings to the pain of that emasculation? … Life is not an intellectual process – life is a feeling. ”