In response to a question;
So, how do you know that the one in front of you is your soulmate, and not just someone of whom you are in love with?
When we speak about soul mates there is inherently a feeling of destiny involved in it. The chance meeting of two souls that change the course of both souls’ lives. Thus the first hallmark of any soul love is the power of transformation. Did the loving of the particular person change your life; change your perception about yourself? No strongly felt emotion should ever be ignored, or written off as “just in love.” Why do you feel such powerful emotions? Any powerful emotions felt gives one an opportunity for soul contact; it is always a pointer to a shadow aspect within yourself that needs to be exposed and as such it does contain an element of destiny within it. Any shadow aspect brought to light and integrated within one’s conscious awareness changes your perception about yourself and will change the course of your life. The ego (I) is the container of beliefs of who you think you are and as such dictates the destiny of your life, because all the choices you make in your life is based upon who you think you are. Choices have affects and thus create your future. If you think you are weak or you are strong you will make your choices accordingly
However, the soul’s desire in turn is the ego’s destiny. From our earliest age we manipulate events in our lives to meet our desires; whether consciously or not. We may not always be successful in achieving what we desire but it will affect our lives and thus our destiny. This is why I like to call desire the workings of the Divine Tricksters; for me may think that we are simply trying to fulfill our desires but actually each time we respond to our desires it sets in motion a course of events (karma) which will ultimately lead us to find our true desire. (See The Broken Heart)
The second aspect that you will encounter is that of fear. Love and fear cannot be separated for whenever we feel something overwhelmingly powerful we will naturally feel fear as we feel instinctively that it will take us out of control. The purpose of fear in an evolutionary sense is a guardian so that we do not overstep our capacity. So when ever we feel fear it indicates that we have reached a personal boundary and invokes alertness and mindfulness in us. Now when the ego encounters soul love it will feel fear, for true love will cause the death of who you think you are. Love lures us beyond our personal boundaries. The ego as such is tricked into a death by the lure of the other. Love and fear moves together. This is also experienced in what is called the fear of God (Pachad). Contrary to what most believe it is not a superstitious fear of God’s punishment, it means “Holy awe”. Holy awe and wonder fills the soul that encounters true love.
Another aspect of true soul love is its purpose. If you use the simile of language, the significance of language is not the process or laws that dictate it, but what is said through it, what ideas and what insights it reveals. With love it is the same, it is not the feeling of love and how it came about that is important but what one can accomplish through it. If nothing is achieved through love, then it soon fizzles out and one is left wondering whether it was just an illusion, just a PEA brained infatuation. Soul love always has a higher purpose; a purpose that serves not just your ego’s desires but serves the greater good.
Personally, what can we achieve through love if not sexual satisfaction, procreation, security, status or simply not to be lonely? In the world in which we live today there is very much a tendency to cocooning in our egocentricity. There is only one thing that lures us out of our egocentric cocoons; love. Love alone entices us out of our shells; allow us to let down our carefully constructed barriers. This is also why no one you fall in love with is “just someone you are in love with.” Love is a precious gift. Treat anyone that you are in love with as if they are your soul mate.
Most people desire someone to love who embodies what they feel they lack in themselves. Advanced human beings, who actually do not need another person; “the magical other” and are already fulfilled in themselves are more likely to meet their true soul mates. When two people who do not need each other unite, that which is already complete is enhanced, amplified beyond what can be imagined on their own. I such a relationship you can really go beyond transpersonal boundaries and have what I call an ascended relationship. You have already overcome your personal limitations, whereas in most relationships personal problems, and limitations are just highlighted. (The mirror effect.)
I cannot over emphasize the preciousness of the gift of falling in love even if it never comes to fruitition. Every time you fall in love it is an opportunity to prepare you for a greater love; whether spiritual or romantic, and educates you in the matters of the heart.