Radical Conversations is essential for a truly intimate relationship; without it a relationship will stagnate. Yet very few are willing to face the other without the safety of the romantic dream mirror. Michael McKnight who have generously volunteered to provide me with sparks, have posted the following.
THE YEARNING FOR DEEP CONNECTION-
a relationship that goes beyond the Ordinary… that is profoundly caring, is resonant with meaning, and involves feeling of being truly seen and known.
James Hollis talks about “intimacy” as an ongoing conversation.
I find very, very few that seem interested in having the kinds of conversations that Hollis talks aboout
. Most still run……
“And you run, and you run, but the sun is sinking….”
“Radical Conversations” as defined by Hollis:
People assume responsibility for their own psychological well being
They commit to sharing the world of their own experience without reproaching the other for past wounds or future expectations.
Similarly, they are to endeavor to hear, without feeling defensive, the experience of the other.
Commit to sustain this dialog over time… only full sharing of what it is like to be me and hearing what it is like to be you can fulfill the promise of an intimate relationship.
Radical conversations can have emotional,
imaginal, sexual and spiritual dimensions as well as verbal ones.
Before entering this relationship… do you have the strength to withstand a genuine encounter with another? Can you become that vulnerable?
To quell the Holy Longing does one have a choice but to be that vulnerable?
To love unconditionally is to be fearless. Siegfried the Hero had no fear of dragons or another’s sword. He longed to know what fear was. The following is from the moment he gazed upon Brunnhilde, after removing her helmet and breastplate
“That is no man! Magical rapture Pierces my heart; Fixed is my gaze,
Burning with terror; I reel, my heart feels faint and fails!
On whom shall I call, For aid imploring?
Mother! Mother! Remember me!
How waken the maid, Causing her eyelids to open?
Her eyelids to open?
What if her gaze strike me blind!
How shall I dare To look on their light?
All rocks and sways And swirls and revolves;
Uttermost longing Burns and consumes me;
My hand on my heart, Trembles and shakes!
What ails thee, coward?
Is this what fear means?
O mother! Mother! Thy dauntless child!
A woman lying asleep Has taught him what fear is at last!
How conquer my fear?
How brace my heart”
From Siegfried and the Twilight of the Gods – Richard Wagner.
Ironic that the very thing that dissolves fear, causes such fear in the hearts of so many.