Archive for category Masculine – Feminine
“Intimacy in general terms is a song of spirit inviting two people to come together and share their spirit together. It is a song that no one can resist”
Women's liberation in my opinion brought women the right to be like men, but it has done very little to bring any recognition and value to the traditional Feminine aspects of being human. In today's world women are still only excepted in male-dominated world of empirical thinking when they think like men. Women in general are still considered to be a necessary evil, that does not match the masculine norm. So in reality Feminism has actually further suppressed the Feminine aspects to the fringes of society. Feminism has been destroying the feminine principle rather than vindicating it.
“I am not truly free if I am taking away someone else’s freedom, just as surely as I am not free when my freedom is taken from me. The oppressed and the oppressor alike are robbed of their humanity.” – Nelson Mandela
The oppression of the Feminine aspects of our being of course not only applies to women, but also to men. Both men and women feel a deep longing, as if a part of themselves have been exiled. We feel as if we have been robbed of our humanity.
“Unlike any other time of human history, we live in a time of plenty. People are usually well-fed and well-clothed. Even our poor people are rich in amenities compared to our ancestors of just a hundred years ago.
Yet, in spite of that, people in our culture are unhappy. They are unhappy with their jobs, with their spouses, where they live, and so on. People move a lot. They break-up a lot. What is going on here?
I don't think our unhappiness comes from a "spoiled brat" mentality, although some social commentators think so. I think it grows from the fact that human nature is first a spiritual nature before being a physical one. Having enough isn't really enough. As our Lord said, "Man shall not live by bread alone." There is a spiritual side to our existence.” James Wesley Stivers Most people will acknowledge that there is a spiritual side to our nature, if you look at the fact that the majority of the world's population do have some or other, religious, or spiritual belief. However when you look at the main orthrodox religions, the Feminine Divine, plays at best a supporting role and is purely virginal.
In Rosemary Ruether’s book – Sexism and God-Talk – she writes,
Humanity images the divine, and because it was created in the dual order of male and female it cannot be redeemed by a male savior alone. The messiah must appear in female form as well. The messianic community also must reflect this partite of male and female in its organization structure (Ruether 1983).
Where in our culture today do we see reflected the Sacred Marriage; the alchemical union
between the Divine Masculine and the Feminine Divine? Anyone with spiritual aspiration are
told to look to the Divine examples to base their lives on, but what examples are there in our
culture that gives us an example of the Divine Marriage. Is there then any wonder that there
are such confusion in the area of relationships, which of course reflects our inner confusion.
We all have a masculine and feminine side, or as Jung calls it Animus and Anima. Jung’s
theory states that every man has a female side to his unconscious psyche which he calls
anima, while women have a male counterpart within their unconscious psyches which he
My intuition (yes, a feminine aspect) led me to a document which explains the modern dilemma between masculine and feminine in depth and clarity.;
According to Jung, there are four different developmental stages According to Jung, there
are four different developmental stages of the female animus. The lower stage is that of the
personification of physical power, for example, seeing the athlete as hero. At the next stage of
animus, he possesses the ability for planned action and social reform. The third phase is the
Logos stage where he becomes the clergyman or professor who controls the word. Finally, the
last stage of development he becomes a religious experience incarnating a new meaning of life.
M. L. von Franz writes in _Man and his Symbols_,
The animus in his most developed form sometimes connects the;
woman's mind with the spiritual evolution of her age, and can thereby make her even more receptive than man to new creative ideas. It is for this reason that in earlier times women were used by many nations as diviners and seers. The creative boldness of their positive animus at times expresses thoughts and ideas that stimulate men to new enprises (Jung 1964, 194-195). Jung's male anima also has four stages of development. The first being the biological, represented by Eve. The second is the romantic and aesthetic level still characterized by sexual involvements exemplified by Faust's Helen. The third stage, Eros, is raised to a spiritual devotion as worshipped in the Virgin Mary. The fourth is represented by Sapientia, a wise woman transcending the most pure and holy women, represented by Athena and the Mona Lisa. (Certainly we have seen how Athena is not a symbol of wisdom or justice, but one of male manipulation.) Von Franz points out that modern man has rarely reach this final level of individualization. A man's anima helps him to find the hidden facts of his unconsciousness about himself and guides him to find his ideal mate. His anima helps him to open up to more profound inner depths of his character by becoming aware of his inner values. She conveys the vital messages of the great man inside himself. So why has it been so difficult for modern man to reach this final stage of development? Looking at Jung's theory, we see his sexist bias against erotic enlightenment in his last two stages of anima development which, I believe, accounts for why modern man has not been able to fully individuate. Jung thinks male rebirth occurs through a spiritual rebirth from within the virgin mother. Also, Joseph Campbell states that the hero is born through the virgin mother to represent his spiritual motivation into compassion which transcends his self-preservation and sexual motivations (Campbell 1988, 176). Curtis D. Smith writes in - Jung's Quest for Wholeness, "Psychologically, Jung views "incest" as an appropriate symbol of the individuation process and the union of opposites. Incest symbolizes union with one's own being, it means individuation or becoming a self...Incest is simply the union of like with like" (105).
It is at the virgin mother stage where Jung thinks the anima has developed beyond the desire for erotic and aesthetics qualities. Then we notice at the final stage, Eros is completely out of the picture as man searches for some transcendental Goddess who he will never find because the wisdom of the Goddess is immanence…the romantic, biological power of love. Romance is the supreme religious experience, the only phenomenon which will consummate a new meaning of life.
The true test of the romantic story is its aesthetic qualities. Therefore, romantic love is the Wisdom of the Ages. Jung describes man’s anima in terms of Eros and a woman’s animus in terms of Logos. This means that men’s conscious strength, his governing principle is contained in the Logos, meaning the word and analytic thought. Jung felt by the nature of his sex, men were more assertive, courageous, objective, and spiritually-wise than women (Jung 1964, 194)
Woman was naturally stronger in matters of love and relationships. She was
passive, soft, gentle, and less capable of objective thinking and independent action. In
other words, women have cultivated Eros and uncultivated Logos, while men have cultivated
Logos and uncultivated Eros. He believed the two different components of the psyche were
equally important, complementary, although contrasting.
However, Naomi Goldenberg points out how Jung’s writings reveal his prejudice against
the female Logos. He writes,
The animus corresponds to the paternal Logos just as the anima
corresponds to the natural Eros. In men, Eros, the function of
relationship, is usually less developed than Logos. In women,
on the other hand, Eros is an expression of true nature, while
their Logos is often only a regrettable accident (Goldenberg
Further evidence of his bias against women’s intellectual abilities, can be seen in
his essay “Women in Europe”. He writes,
“No one can get around the fact that by taking up a masculine profession, studying and working like a man, woman is doing something not wholly in accord with, if not directly injurious to, her feminine nature” (68).
Jung goes on to call certain universities in the United States as “animus incubators” that produce opinionated women who are possessed by their animus. He called these women inferior men who could not be as successful as men at doing such Logos work as writing books since their conscious strength was determined by Eros.
Why couldn’t Jung see that the driving force behind Logos was Eros? It was Eros, not
Apollo, who inspired the great works of literature. In order for a woman or a man to write
authentic poetry they have to connect with their muse…either Aphrodite or Eros…to make
their works have a biological function for the survival of the human race.
We write to attract our metaphysical mates who give us the union of opposities, enacting a new/old erotic world vision. Our salvation lies through connecting with the Goddess and God of
Love and Beauty who are the muse of all the arts and sciences. Only when sexual unions
have a survival reason for the future of the planet can the relationship bring happiness and fulfillment.
A clue to the reason why Jung was not able to find the achemical union necessary for
the foundation of a new religion is seen in his own relationships with women which is
explained in Demaris S. Wehr’s book, – Jung and Feminism: Liberating Archetypes – . Jung
writes about having a dual perception of his mother which he called her “daytime” and
“nighttime personality.” Her daytime personality had an “animal warmth,” was maternal and
reassuring, whereas her nighttime personality was ghostly and spiritual, which was both
fascinating and frightening to the young Jung. He writes in his – Memories, Dreams,
By day she was a living mother, but at night she seemed
uncanny. Then she was like one of those seers who is at the
same time a strange animal, like a priestess in a bear’s cave.
Archaic and ruthless; ruthless as truth and nature. At such
moments she was the embodiment of what I have called the
“natural mind” (Jung 1961, 50).
The spiritual part of her personality he called the nonrational and the maternal part
he called rational. He said that when the spiritual voice talked “that meant something.”
The light side was concerned with facts, was ambitious, proud, and enjoyed itself. He
called it the “outside world.” The dark side was hungry for meaning. It would embarrass
his rational side when it became too irrational by its lack of relating to the “outside
world.” Her light side was concerned with the practical matters of daily life where as
her dark side was fed with Goethe’s Faust and Nietzsche’s Zarathusra.
This division of the female anima carried on in his relationships with the other two
signifant females of his life, his wife Emma and his mistress and collaborator, Toni
Wolff. Wehr writes,
Jung had a “split anima” (a split image of the feminine
operating within his own psyche), which was expressed in his
divided loyalty between the two women. One of the women, Emma,
respresented for him a “motherly container,” and the other
more of a “soul mate.” Jung’s split in images and experience —
between the wife/mother and the sexual companion–represents
a polarity not uncommon in the lives of Western man (Wehr
In Toni Wolff’s interpretation of the anima\animus theory she reflects this division by
saying that in the feminine archetypes the “Hetaira” who she called man’s lover,
soul-sister and sexual companion are opposed to the “Mother.” Jung described the
opposition between the two as the dark side regarding the light side as his “thankless
moral task.” He believes conflict between the two is resolved by being “true to both
sides of the conflict, allowing the resolution to emerge from the unconscious (Wehr 1987,
In his personal life, this resulted in trying to intergrate Toni into his family.
However, Wehr points out in one of Jung’s correspondences that he said, “Ultimately, we
all get stuck somewhere, for we are all mortal and remain but a part of what we are as a
whole. The wholeness we can reach is very relative.” In Jung’s own life, he was unable to
bring the two together in order to free himself for the duality of darkness and light, to
put an end to the conflict between the “Mother” and the “Hetaira.” Unable to create the
fusion he was unable to find the alchemical formula, the magic of the two becoming one.
Jung’s lopsided theory undermined women’s ability to express themselves in words and
to, therefore, influence the social order.
This is the same suppression we have found in ancient Greek mythology. For instance, the myth of Perseus who steals the winged horse, Pegasus. The horse was born from Medusa’s dead body and, from her blood, poetry and the healing arts came into the world. Since in Jungian schema men have the superior power of language, the cultural roles between the sexes are not equally defined resulting in women’s lack of publishing power and social respect.
The same is true in the visual arts. Men were in charge of the way women “were seen
and how they acted in the art world” (Borzello and Ledwidge 1986).
They provided the supper, sex, and were his muse, model, and subject matter. She was around to prove he was a man, to make him feel like he was a god-like hero. When women were finally given entry in the art world, since they had no tradition of their own, they compared themselves with men. They became second-class citizens relegated to the less prestigious areas of art like teaching in schools and designing decorative arts. However, men were taught the skills for doing the historical and biblical paintings which were considered the most
important work. They were allowed to paint the female nude, but women were not given this
right. Without the skills to produce a narrative work, she could not penetrate into the
sexist mythology destroying the world.
Margaret Mead and other cultural anthropologist have proven that gender roles are
socially constructed. In Mead’s research of the people of the highlands of New Guinea she
observed that in the Mudugumor tribe both sexes were aggressive and warlike; their
neighbors the Arapesh, men and women were both nurturing and non-aggressive. The third
tribe in her study the Tschambulie, women were assertive, practical, and competent while
the men spent time gossiping, adorning themselves, and strolling about.
The mythology of the culture determines the harmony between the two sexes. It
determines whether or not the culture is peaceful or warlike. Consequently, Jung’s
anima/animus theory reinforces the status quo, stereotyping women as the good introverted
housewives of the heroic men and the mistress as his private soul-mate companion. Unable
to evolve out of the devotion-phase of the Madonna, and having the “magic authority” of
the word, deed, and image denied to her, she is unable to revolutionize the ubiguitous and
deadly misogyny instituted by the patriarchal system to ensure male dominance.
Since Jung’s theory splits mind from body men are consciously associated with mind
(Logos), and women with nature or body (Eros), her animus becomes an extension of his
imagination, establishing a parasitical co-dependency which sufficates both. He projects
his anima onto her powerless being. Unable to publish her own script, she is captivated
by his projections of fear, pornography, dread, hatred, seeing her as both the virgin and
the whore, the devouring mother who turns into the nagging wife or spinster “hag” or the
In – The Encyclopedia of Religion, Jeffrey Burton Russell predicts, “The witch,
melding the two archetypes of human hag and evil demon, is a powerful metaphor whose power
may be diminished from time to time but is unlikely to disappear” (423).
When Jung’s archetypal theory is seen as frozen without the possibility of change, this dualistic, neurotic relationship between women and men becomes the stumbling block to our further evolution. Women are paralyzed by not being able to influence the conscious thought of
the culture, while men cannot find the female sages they need in order to develop their
anima to the most advanced level of wisdom. This prevents creative partnerships so
necessary for the manifestation of a new meaning of life to come into existence. It
inhibits bringing the romantic metaphor into its primal position as evolutionary herald.
In her essay “From Muse to Heroine,” Anne Griswold Tyng writes, “When a woman
reclaims her own animus or is aware that she has projected it onto someone herself, when a
man assimilates his own anima or becomes similarly aware of his projection, both become
more complete and more creative” (Berkeley 1989, 184). In opposition to her husband, Emma
Jung in her book Animus and Anima also believed that what women needed was not less animus but more; that is, more logos, power, and meaning. She showed how there are two sides to animus projections: a positive side, and a shadow side. Examples of the later two stages are the animus of the word whose positive side would be that of a poet.
On the negative side of the word would be the fire and brimstone preacher. The animus of meaning is exemplified by the prophet or philosopher, while the negative side would be the dogmatist. She further observed that women who seemed to have overbearing personalities were the ones who projected negative sides of the animus which sadly enough the patriarchal social system rewards.
How apparent it is that Society rewards these negative projections of men because we
live in a warrior, money worshipping culture which has divided Logos from Eros, marriage
from love, sex from meaning, and art from life. If an epic poetess is unable to have her
wisdom heard and her vision enacted by radically transforming the male anima through the
magic of the Gaia Messiah, our barbaric culture will not be able to develop into a
civilized state. We will continue to have to witness the devolution of our ailing
I think the irony of life is that which we long for most deeply, is really our own oblivion. So we fear it, but long for it at the same time. But what we do not realize is that within the death of ourselves we will find our Divine selves. But just as with a child, where the outer child must die so that the adult may rise into vision, so we will find ourselves in oblivion with another. I believe when two people truly surrender to each other; you open your inner core, your deepest vulnerability to that other and say;” I so love you in all that you are that I am willing to blend all of me with you., so that in our merging and through our merging we will be reborn. Just as a child contains some of the essence of both the father and the mother, so you and I become the parents of ourselves reborn, but now containing the essence of each other.”
Together, there is no mystery that man and woman cannot probe. Together man and woman becomes the Creator. Separate, in conflict, we destroy ourself.
When we think of true love, we think of Soul Mates and Twin Flames. In esoteric traditions it is said that the supernal human was divided into man and woman, thus every human being has a perfect spiritual counterpart, that he or she is destined to meet and unite with at some point in the transmigration of the soul. However it is also said that for the soul mates to be able to meet and unite with one another in this world, the soul-being of both partners must have a sufficient degree of evolution, and have done all the necessary spiritual work on the soul before they are ready to meet and restore their unity.
“Essentially, the soul-being must evolve to a higher grade and be near to the attainment of self-realization in order to meet its destined partner … Soul mates may meet in an incarnation, but not be able to unite because the necessary conditions are not present. Likewise, souls destined for one another may meet and unite, but not accomplish the mission of the Neshamah (Supernal soul, divine nature) and therefore not perfect their union. After all, a true mystical union must bear good fruit and the two who become one must fulfill and complete one another … When soul mates meet and unite, however, it is a powerful and wonderful event and the blessing of their union extends light and life to others. Soul mates uplift humanity and the world… When speaking of soul mates, my teacher would always say,’You should not expect to meet your soul mate in this life, neither should you doubt that you will, but in all your relationships you should seek to create the conditions necessary for this holy union – for one never knows when it shall come to pass. You must have a good heart and clear conscience, and cultivate compassion and love. All our relations prepare us to meet our beloved, whom the Beloved has ordained for us at the outset of creation…’
It teaches us that one is to love one’s partner as oneself and seek out a relationships that cultivate his or her humanity and that serve to facilitate conscious spiritual evolution. Whether one is with one’s soul mate or in exchange of sparks with another soul, the foundation of all intimate personal relationships is to be the same. … This also reflects the emphasis upon the development of a coequality of men and women. While a great imbalance exists between men and women, the meeting and union of soul mates can remain a relatively rare and exceptional phenomenon. True manhood cannot exist apart from true womanhood …” – Tau Malachi
Could there be anymore beautiful advise for those seeking to unite with their of soul mates?
In response to a question;
“When love is flowing in a women with a feminine essence, then her core seems to be fulfilled. It is her ground.
This is not the case, in my opinion, with a male that has a masculine sexual essence. If this type of male’s mission or purpose outside of a loving relationship is not going well, he will be distracted and uneasy. Purpose drives a male with a masculine sexual essence.
Women’s core is fulfilled by love, for men it is not. A man’s core is filled by alignment of his life with his purpose or mission. Intimacy is something to have in addition to your purpose not your purpose.”
I remember as a teenager I heard the quote, “To men love is part of life, to women love is life.”
The quote struck me then as being unfair. How, I asked myself, will I as a woman then ever find a man who loves me equally? Will I as a woman then not always feel insecure in some way? How will I know that the man I love will not leave me for his purpose if he feels his purpose will be better served without me?
“When absorbed in his purpose intimacy is often not even thought about. A man will gravitate toward a women who will support his purpose or mission… he will be attracted to women who he feels will support that effort. “
I have indeed found this to be true with a male with masculine sexual essence. I have also found that corollary is true too. That a female with feminine sexual essence will be attracted to the man whose purpose and vision she feels she can support. However, things are not quite so clear-cut in the world in which we live today. Several new external factors now influence the relationship between masculine and feminine.
Since the advent of the industrial revolution a radical change happened in how we view and value the world. Everything became measured in terms of economic value – how much are you worth? This perhaps more than anything changed the intrinsic value of both masculine and feminine. Before the industrial revolution women were valued for being women. Yes, women did not have nearly as many rights as they have today but they were valued. For men too things changed. Although men also have more individual rights today, and certainly the right of choice as to what their purpose are, how much money a man can make has become more important than the purpose he may feel. Although in past we had less choice and less rights we have become more amorphous in purpose – to make money to buy all the things we are told we need. I speak generally of course, and relating to the general consumerist culture.
So now we have a dilemma for both genders. Intrinsically our basic natures and desires have not changed since mankind first became conscious but our strongest influence today – the Media – paints a different picture. Individual purpose and vision has become obscured by how much money you earn, and what you own. For the man and woman looking for a common purpose and vision in one another, this is no longer an easy assessment to make. Most people today holds a job that does not reflect their purpose or vision for example, it is purely the best means they can see of how to make money. To complicate things even more, the generalization and globalization brought about by the consumerist culture and propagated by the Media have left most people not knowing what it is they really want or desire.
To have a truly soulful relationship, you must know your own soul’s purpose, if you do not know what it is, relationships will be very much a hit-and-run affair. You may think that someone of the opposite sex embodies the same purpose and vision as you do, but of most of the time neither actually knows what their true purpose or vision is. The relationship then has a very superficial basis to begin with built on the shifting sands of illusion as such. So that what happens in most relationships today is not so much a falling out of love but a falling out of vision and purpose.
For both men and women today there is very much an emphasis in the pop-culture to discover yourself when you feel depressed or generally unhappy. “Find your purpose and vision.” Whereas in the past people had a very clear life-purpose and mission, today what we think our life-purpose or mission is, may change several times in our life time.
“A man will gravitate toward a women who will support his purpose or mission… he will be attracted to women who he feels will support that effort. “
If you now look at this statement you can see that whereas in the past this fact was a basis for a stable long-lasting relationship, today it is the basis for a short lived relationship.
“Without a deep and loving intimacy- with you or with the divine-she hurts. It will never work for her to try and quell the pain by absorbing herself in her career, her art, or her friends. If she has a feminine essence, she must honor herself by owning her deep desire for the flow of love in her heart…” ( David Deida)
True for women the need for intimacy with either the divine or masculine is a basic need as much as the air we breathe, for both our happiness and wellness. A woman does not feel fulfilled without it. However, through the prevailing culture many women no longer have an intimate relationship with the divine or the masculine, and are encouraged to try and quell the pain by doing exactly that – by absorbing herself in her career, her art, or her friends. In today’s world a woman can no longer just cleave to a man’s vision and purpose for she herself must be a breadwinner. This has brought about a major change in for the basic feminine essence, whereas in the past the feminine essence had a supporting, nurturing and inspiring role, she now has to also take on a masculine role, she too has to become absorbed in her purpose in order to be valued in a consumerist culture and often forgo or ignore her need for intimacy in order to fulfill her purpose or mission.
Is it any wonder then that relationships are experiencing such crisis? However, I believe it is not as negative as it looks, we cannot go back to what was, nor do we want to, for the human being is a transitional being not only in this time and place but as central to our purpose. We stand between heaven and earth, between nature/the animal kingdom and the divine, between human intelligence and divine intelligence, between bestial humanity and divinity or super humanity. We can no longer look to the past for the basis of an ideal relationship, we must look to the archetypal divine relationships for the ideal relationship.
For the feminine essence to find the masculine essence, she can surrender to, she must know her own purpose and mission. For the masculine essence to find his feminine counterpart he must indeed know his true individual purpose and mission to be attracted to right woman. We must learn not be afraid to stand in our individuality for only then can we attract those closest to our purpose and mission.
“When a flower is visible it is beautiful. A flower does not say “I am better than’, nor does it say ‘I am less than’. Flowers are true to themselves and stand as visibly as they can.”
Having said that, however, I must also add that each relationship we have also presents us with the opportunity to reveal our true purpose and mission if we do not blame the other, when it fails.
Yes, the male and female are very different but we have a common purpose and common mission, and we spring from the same core.
Think Global, Act Local.
Think Eternal, Act Now.
Since ancient times people have recognised the importance of the stable
family as the basic corner stone for the stability of a society. However,
then there was love and passion, which is notoriously unpredictable as a
stable element for marriage. Even in ancient times the beauty and power of
the romantic sexual love was recognised. The passion, “madness” and longing,
is a perfect symbolism for yearning and desire for spiritual perfection,
which underlies all human desires. The ecstasy of the sexual union still has
no better equivalent to describe the ecstasy of the integrated balanced
The sacred marriage is especially central to the alchemist philosophy of the
full integration, marriage between the masculine and feminine elements
within the individual attempting the creation of the fabled philosopher’s
stone. This stone that can turn base elements into gold and bestow
immortality. In Tao the balance between Yin and Yang is another well-known
So we have within the human being two seemingly conflicting traits, just as
the masculine and feminine in every level of symbolism represents
conflicting elements with the potential of creating either a “living hell”
or “nirvana”. So even today we find in every society the notion of “Everyone
loves lovers.” and the realisation that a stable marriage provides the
stability of the greater society. The human being is not naturally
monogamous. If we look at the statistics of marriages where the two
elements; romantic love and stable marriage, has been successfully achieved
the percentage is only about 28%. The lucky few. The results of this are
widely reflected deterioration of society in general.
In every free society I believe that would probably be an accurate
reflection of the odds of those two combining successfully. This why the
state, whether in the form of the present sophisticated governments or
ancient tribal laws always governed the rules pertaining to marriage in
recognition of the family as the corner stone of the health and wealth of a
nation or tribe. Various ancient traditions resolved these two conflicting
aspects of humanity in one of two ways. One was the well-known complete
suppression of romantic sexual love by either punishment of death for
infidelity or female circumcision. The institution of marriage even today
operates from the premise that infidelity is bad, yet at the same time
recognising the natural flames that burns within the human being. This
dilemma has probably been the subject of discussion since time immemorial.
The Wodaabe Nomadic tribe of West Africa practises the most innovative
solution to this problem I have found. “To the Wodaabe personal
relationships are the essence of being human. In the Wodaabe society
philandering takes place within an elaborate set of rules that allows for
romantic sexual passion while preserving the stability of the family. Within
one’s lineage – and there are fifteen separate lineages among the Wodaabe –
a man may only marry one woman, and this marriage is arranged at childhood.
It is called the kobgal marriage. Affairs are not outlawed within one’s own
lineage, but can never lead to marriage. It is considered dangerous and
disruptive to the entire lineage to carry on one of these affairs for too
long, and while it is going on, it must be very discreet. Wodaabe etiquette
says, “What the eyes do not see did not happen,” which means that rumours
and suspicions have to be ignored. Unless the couple is caught in the act,
the affair is not reckoned to have taken place.
A far more common source of romantic adventures is the practise of
wife-stealing between different lineages. This occurs throughout the year
when lineages meet at marketplaces or common wells, but the biggest
opportunity is at the annual Geerewol celebrations, the great festival that
includes the Yakke dance. This dance competition lasts for a week and may
involve as many as a thousand young men who compete to be chosen as the most
charming and beautiful. The men perform before a critical and appreciative
audience of women, with members of both sexes on the lookout for possible
A couple may meet each other for trysts, where the lie “invisible” under a
blanket and make love. They may eventually decide to elope. What is
extraordinary from a Western point of view is that the decision o run away
together, made “from the heart ” as they say, is often reached very quickly.
A Wodaabe couple may arrange a meeting, sleep together once, and decide to
marry. If they are already married to others, as is often the case, and her
husband is anywhere near, he will give them chase. But this is a ritual.
Strictly for show. He usually accepts that if his wife wants to leave, there
is no point in trying to stop her. His best bet is to go off and use his
togu (charm) to persuade another woman to join him. The runaway wife goes to
live with her new husband and other wives. Such a union is also considered a
marriage – it is called a teegal marriage – but it is a secondary one. The
kobgal wife is a man’s principal spouse and takes precedence over teegal
wives. She has the largest dowry. Above all, she stays with her children. A
woman who runs away has to leave her children behind to be raised in her
What the Wodaabe value, almost above all else, is personal relations. So men
are constantly on the lookout for lovers, and women are often willing to
leave the stability of their arranged marriages and go for love into the
household of a man whose togu has charmed them. But life goes on, even if
they do. Their children are not uprooted, and the orderly relations of
Wodaabe society, which are built around the kobgal marriages, are
unaffected. The Wodaabe have dealt effectively with the age-old problem of
trying to reconcile marriage with passion by instituting these two kinds of
marriage. The sensible kobgal marriages form the foundation of their social
institutions while spontaneous teegal marriages allow a freer rein to
passion and personal whim.
Wodaabe society seems to be male-dominated. Descent is in the male line, a
man has authority over his family, and it is he who may have a number of
wives. Yet the Wodaabe women enjoy considerable freedom of action. They can
leave their husbands without stigmata and always have a place to go if they
do – back to their own family’s camp. They can enter into as many love
marriages as they have the heart and the stamina for. The price they pay is
that if they move from one marriage to another they must leave their
children behind with their husband’s lineage. That is how the Wodaabe ensure
the stability of society while allowing individuals to pursue their romantic
Millennium Tribal Wisdom and the Modern World – David Maybury Lewis
It makes you think doesn’t it. We are entering a time that calls for
innovative solutions. A time to put aside personal ego and look at the
reality of what we are as human beings, not what we are conditioned to
I do believe that there was a reason for the monotheistic counter movement. I also believe that although often it is hard to see why certain changes happened throughout the history of mankind, there is a subtle pattern, with the apparent randomness there is method. As I mentioned elsewhere, who knows what really the excesses of the matriarchal period were. I have my theories but won’t go into that now, if you would like me to I will. For sure it was not all good, as the patriarchal period has not been all good. I do believe the change over was essential to our evolution in the development of our consciousness, just as we have to go through stages of growth to reach our maturity. The rise of monotheism and the solar deities are linked very closely with the rise in the development of our intellectual abilities. It is said that during the matriarchal period our consciousness was more intuitive rather than reasoning. As you know the intellect is linked to the masculine side.
Further, I believe that the development of the intellect under the patriarchal system a prelude to another important development in our consciousness. The rights of individual – individuation, linked for me also with the maturing ego. Before the development of individualism your fate was pretty much decreed by your bloodline, order of birth, and gender. You took the word of whatever the sovereign power was as Gospel (excuse the pun). Intellectual development requires that you question the existing order of things for yourself, and then come up with new solutions. The striving for individual recognition is masculine in nature. Whereas the feminine nature strives for unity, and to preserve what is.
In many traditional cultures there is no word for love. It is often described as something like, “It is beautiful from the heart.” This heartfelt relationship was seen in most traditional cultures as a threat to the stability and well-being of the society as a whole. In fact it is, as heartfelt love, no matter how beautiful and romantic, is a double edged sword. On one hand it is a beautiful force of unification, and on the other it is devastatingly transformational.
.” Real love hurts; real love makes you totally vulnerable and open; real love will take you far beyond yourself; and therefore real love will devastate you. I kept thinking, if love does not shatter you, you do not know love..”
Anyone who has truly loved knows that love destroys the old and creates the new. As the force behind creation it reflects in our romantic love relationships the very process of creation. The process of creation always involves destruction of the old order from which the new is created. The blank canvas, no longer blank; the man or woman becomes something other than they were before. Even on the most basic level the girl becomes a mother, the boy a father, or simply a lover. Regardless love changes you, and you are not the same as before.
The concept of romantic love only came into being during the 11th and 13th century. It did did exist before that, but was something that had to be controlled “for it made men weak like women”, and had the power to destroy kingdoms like the story about Helen of Troy, Guinevere and Lancelot. Certainly love was not an element necessary for marriage. In most cultures marriage is the basic building block of a stable society. Marriage was a contract made not only between two individuals but also between the couple and the society they lived in. An oath sworn to the allegiance of the sovereign – to honour and to obey – for King and country.
In traditional societies marriage as an institution were and are designed both to harness passion in the service of social stability and to provide for children. The concept of Romantic Love came into existence during the 11th and 13th centuries through the influence of the Troubadours, Minnesingers, and all the writers and storytellers who developed the concept. Prior to that, whatever considerable feelings a man might have held for his woman, or a woman for her man, was always completely subsidiary to his/her loyalty for and duty towards his “king and country”, clan, or tribe. In traditional societies the individual’s rights is always subsidiary to that of what was considered by a society to be essential elements for their stability and welfare.
The image of Romantic Love helped awaken within men and women, the possibility that there could be more to a husband and a wife relationship than mere childbearing. This concept and its implications has not yet fully developed in our consciousness. Most of us are still caught between primitive urges of survival and our awakening understanding of where we are actually now, of why we really do and desire things.
The rise of the concept of romantic love goes hand in hand with the rise of individualism. Although desire and lust are denounced by most religions as a sin, something that must be suppressed, pure desire is linked to our individuality. If you had no desires, no passion you would have no individuality. It is an essential element all genius share. Passion is the fire in our bellies that keeps us alive, keeps us questioning, the very basis for the thirst for knowledge. Hence the expression to have carnal knowledge of.
At the core of the Western culture sweeping the world, colonizing all other cultures, is the concept of individual rights. The right for individuals to search for personal happiness, freedom of expression, to love whom they choose, to belief in what they choose. The very concept of individual rights is in direct contrast to, and in conflict with the cohesiveness of a stable society. For to be truly yourself there is going to be something in your individual expression that is not in allegiance with the shared group values.
“Grasshopper is happily going down the road. He meets a group of beetles all carrying signs that say “we love the sun in the morning.” Grasshopper greets them and they greet him, asking “Do you love the sun in the morning?” Grasshopper replies: “Oh my yes. How I do love the sun in the morning!” With that, the beetles give him a sign and pin a button on his chest and make him a member of their club. They dance and sing and tell Grasshopper how wonderful he is all day until the sun goes down. Grasshopper says, “I love the afternoon too. And night is very nice.” “Stupid! Dummy! shouted the Beetles. “Anyone who loves the afternoon and night can never, never be in our club! We only love the sun in the morning!! How dare you love the sun at sunset!” With that, they rip off his button and grab his sign and beat Grasshopper over the head with it. They waved their signs and marched away. Grasshopper was alone. And he went on down the road. (adapted from Arnold Lobel, Grasshopper on the Road, 1978) “
In today’s world we are caught between our desires – individual freedom and loyalty to what is sovereign to us, the need for acceptance. The world we find ourselves in reflects both the internal and external struggles between our masculine and feminine natures. We are struggling to find the balance, the middle road between our individual strivings and desires, and our need to be part of the whole. Without feeling ourselves part of something greater than our individual selves, we feel alienated, and isolated, as if we are in exile of the nurturing safety of something greater than ourselves. I also explored this in dealing with Thymos – the desire for acceptance. Just consider the element of loyalty that the vast majority of people feel is an essential element in a healthy relationship. The dictionary meaning for loyal is; True, faithful, to duty, love, or obligation; faithful in allegiance to sovereign, government, or mother country. It comes from the Latin word – legalis – legal, law.
The truth is actually that none of us really need a relationship. We have within us all that we need, yet we literally cannot live without love. When you sit down and argue about all the reasons why people have romantic relationships, they all come down to selfish reasons, even though they may appear on the surface to be altruistic. In romantic relationships we no longer have a blueprint provided to us by our culture, our society. It is now a contract between two individuals as to what they consider should constitute a relationship. The traditional reasons for marriage is falling away, and we have to look anew as to why we have relationships. In the new relationships partners have to decide beforehand what their walk-out conditions are, because the way things are going, basically anything goes. Individualism is anarchistic, yet we long for, and need loving relationships.
Nordivics, you said, “And then some women, after all that, want even more—we’re supposed to go against our social engineering and tap into our dark side, and then shut it off on command without any thought as to what Pandora’s Box (or can of worms) we’ve had to open…all for her. ”
Within your words I see the true potential of romantic relationships. If you bear with me, I will try and explain what I mean. I am sorry this is so long-winded but for me it is all so inter-linked it is hard to explain one without the background of the other. Long ago, there used to be women trained especially to initiate men into the esoteric mysteries, sacred and divine. These women were sacred intimates, now derogatively called temple prostitutes. Classic example of one was in the story of Gilgamesh and Enkidu. Enkidu was a wild man in the woods, a lord of the animals, and he prevented all the hunters from snaring animals as “he knew nothing of settled fields or of human beings, and he was clothed like a deity of flocks. He ate grass with the gazelles, jostled the wild beasts at the watering hole, and was content with animals there.” So the hunters appeals to Gilgamesh to help them and this is what Gilgamesh recommended, “Go my hunter, take along with you a temple prostitute, and when he comes to the watering hole with the beasts, let her throw off her clothes, disclose her nakedness, and when he sees, he will approach her; and the beasts thereafter will desert him, which grew up with him on his plain.” Joseph Campbell, Occidental Mythology
The analogy is that of man leaving his animal nature to become a civilized human. In many mythical themes the hero sets out on his particular quest. The hero representative of us in our naive state, full of courage, determination to make our childhood dreams come true. Then however the hero meets challenges which he must overcome before he can claim the treasures, rescue the princess etc. The challenges the hero faces represents our shadow.
Each of us are born wounded in some way, and who can say whose wound is greater or lesser, for to each of us our wounds are none the less equally daunting. The nature of our wounds is revealed in our early childhood. Now our wounds can be our burden for life, that which trips us up every, until we face it, and then discover that within our wounds is hidden our unique treasure. The wound is our shadow, our Achilles heel.
“This is the concept of the ‘shadow’, which plays such a vital role in analytical psychology. Dr. Jung has pointed out that the shadow cast by the conscious mind of the individual contains the hidden, repressed and unfavorable (or nefarious) aspects of the personality. But this darkness is not just the simple converse of the conscious ego. Just as the ego contains unfavorable and destructive attitudes, so the shadow has good qualities – normal instincts and creative impulses. Ego and shadow, indeed, although separate, are inextricably linked together in much the same way that thought and feeling are related to each other.” Man and his Symbols – Carl G. Jung
In dealing with our shadow side it is particularly difficult for us to see things objectively. One Native American tale says our personal manual is written on our foreheads. Of course we can’t see it, but others can. That is how it is how it is with our shadow side.
To return to the sacred intimates, these women used what is so fondly fondly called here “pussy power” to lure men being initiated into the mysteries, into facing their shadow. Without facing facing your shadow you cannot progress/evolve either psychologically or spiritually. If you look at your experience of facing your shadow through trying to please a woman sexually, imagine how it would have been different if you were with a woman you could trust implicitly and knew she could guide you through the dangers you saw the shadow contained. Just like the hero of the myths receives aide from various goddesses to conquer the seemingly impossible challenges he has to face. This is what two lovers could do for each other.
If you look at the story of the Medusa, the hero is given a shield in which to face the Medusa by Athena. For me this shield relates to the reflection of ourselves that we can see in others. Through our relationships, we are given a mirror in which to see our shadow. It is also said that when Perseus cut off the head of the Medusa, two streams of blood flowed from her, one that could kill and another that could heal. Just so it is with facing our shadow, if we run in terror from what we see reflected in our mirror, it will eventually kill us in more ways than one. It is well known by now that suppressed emotions can cause illness in us, and that if we don’t face our shadows we will become enclosed in our fears, in a living tomb.
Although it is always uncomfortable and always painful to face our shadow, if we truly want to live an authentic land conscious life, we must expose our shadow or it will influence our choices in life in an unconscious way, without us even realizing it. That is truly for me what “the devil made me do it means.”
“The underworld has gone into the unconsciousness; even became the unconscious. Depth psychology is where today we find the initiatory mysteries, the long journey of psychic learning, ancestor worship, the encounters with demons and shadows, and the sufferings of hell.” – James Hillman
With that as a background, let’s look at Lilith, briefly. Lilith is representative of the shadow, or the symbolic dark moon phase. It also represents the menstrual cycle in women. Although it is all a perfectally natural in the cycle of greater things that side has been seen as bad an evil during the matriarchal phase, for various reasons. Women even today feel embarrassed about their menses, they feel embarrassed to buy tampons openly, though no-one would feel anything when they buy toilet paper. Women were exiled during the phase, considered unclean, which relates to me to the exile of Feminine Divine itself. How often is not menstruation spoken of as “the curse” ? Interesting that our word “blessing” comes from the Old English “bloedson”, or “bleeding” . It is also known that during menses women are more psychic, and have a greater inner creative flow. This would correspond to a women’s energetic flow, which is no longer turned outward toward union with the other, but rather it is turned inward. It is also said during the menstrual time the power of a woman’s erotic sexuality can be used for transformation, renewal, divination, healing, etc, rather than procreation. During the menstrual time a woman is turned inward, and she can most easily access the workings of her inner life and powers of the psyche. The heavy, sleeplike qualities of the menstrual time help a woman to reach deep meditative states. When an aspect of the wholeness of self is denied, it develops into the shadow.
We could also say that the world itself is at present in a dark moon phase of transition. We resist any kind of change that brings loss of what we know as security, and we shirk from recalling any event that holds traumatic memories that crystallizes us into negative, self-defeating patterns of behavior.
The story of Lilith has 3 parts; she and Adam were created together, but they quarreled because she insisted on being equal, she then went into exile where she first sorrowed and then in her anger planned revenge. Part 3 is a prophesy that with the return of Christ her evil reign will end. On a psychological level this represents the classical grieving process of finding ourselves disempowered in some way, or facing loss.
“In Lilith’s archetypal threefold process, she first shows us how and where we experience the themes of suppression, resentment, explosive anger, taking a stand for our dignity, only to be rejected and forced to flee. In the second phase she brings us to exile, desolation where we feel our anguish, alienation, fear, and hatred for our sexuality. She exacts revenge by fulfilling the patriarchy’s worst fears and enacting their monstrous shadow projections. In the final phase we can discover her transmuting and healing activities, as she cuts away our pretensions, false roles, and delusions and helps us fully to actualize our true, essential selves.” (The risen Christ) – Demetra George
We can continue blaming the other gender for our woes, but in doing so we are losing an opportunity for growth, an opportunity to find the balance, and heal not only ourselves but the world too.
Sometimes as a woman it feels to me as if there is a vast, boundless ocean of unfathomable depth inside me. All I can do on my own is scoop into it with my hands bring to the surface a random beauty but without direction I would inevitably let it slip back in the ocean of unknown. Satisfied in knowing the abundance at my disposal.
It is interesting to realise that action in itself is Masculine. So is inspiration. The world itself is feminine in nature. If you look at how the Pythoness of Delphi was said to have operated, an interesting parallel can be drawn between the workings of masculine and feminine. Bear in mind that the following was written in the paternal society. By that time the oracle of Delphi had already become degraded. The Pythia had to be uneducated and of rustic nature. In the following description she no longer was a willing participant. She was said to be possessed by the spirit of Apollo. So Apollo prophesied through the Pythia.
“…He banishes her former mind, and throughout her whole breast bids the mortal give way to himself. Frantic, she rages throughout the cave… Shaking from her upright hair both the fillets of the god and the garlands of Phoebus … and throws prostrate the tripods that stand in her way … enduring thee, Phoebus, raging with wrath … All time comes in a single mass; and ages press upon her afflicted breast. Such vast chain of events is disclosed, and all future struggles for the light of day.” Pharsalia – by Lucan
She herself had no input in what came through her, she was forcibly used to bring forth from the unknown. The masculine spirit reveals the future through the medium of the feminine. This was in turn recorded and interpreted by the male priests. It is an example of how the old paternal system operated in regard to woman. The surrender in love was not required, just as a woman can conceive in love or through rape. But think of the difference the conception through love makes to the creation born from the union between male and female. Women today are no longer willing to surrender themselves for the sake of duty and out of fear only. They no longer want to be uneducated and unwilling Pythia. Yet, we do not want to throw the baby out with the bath water…
“However, because the male represents the spirit of man, and the female represents the tonal, that is the physical being of man, it follows that it is only because of the interaction between these two polarities that the evolution of awareness can and does take place. Consequently, in order to evolve its awareness, the spirit must incorporate the unknown, or the female, into the known, for only in this way can the spirit unfold its full potential. In more down-to-earth terms, this means that deep down inside the heart of every male is the intense desire to get to know his own inner female counterpart, or tonal, which is life in manifestation. To do so, it is the most instinct of the true male to take unto himself a female who will not only be his wife and the mirror of his own inner female, but who will also reflect for him the secrets and the mysteries of life in manifestation. This is all very well, but if we remember that the tonal is every-thing, that is, light and darkness, positive and negative, and that the female’s tendency is towards preservation, then it should be quite clear why the male cannot afford to be helpless. If a man does begin to indulge in being helpless, he only succeeds in calling forth the mother in the female which, as we have already noted, is the masculine aspect of the female. But realise that the mother cannot and will not separate the polarities, for it is neither her function nor her instinct to do so.
This is exactly what has happened in the world today. Because men have been acting helpless, the mother in the female has taken over, and to such an extent that the world is being dominated by women who are becoming ever more aggressive, as men are becoming more weak and self-indulgent. Yet these men also resent mother telling them what to do, when to do it, and as a result, they are becoming more and more like petulant boys rebelling against everything and everybody, but just like little boys too, always running away when the shit hits the fan! ”
Before anyone thinks this is becoming a male bashing exercise bear with me, I assure you it is not, I am just trying to show how it works. My next insight into the workings between male and female, was a bitter pill for me as a “creative” female to swallow, as one who makes a living through my creativity. It directly follows from the previous insights that only man; the masculine can truly initiate something new, something never seen before. Everything inside me rebelled against that. It just cannot be, it is utterly unfair. But I had to face the truth. The male carries the life giving sperm, the female has the ability to conceive and nurture that which the male had initiated into reality. Even now I still want to protest bitterly but so it is. The fact remains I need a male, who can initiate, spark that which I feel unconsciously in myself into creation.
As a woman, I can only use what is already there. I can change it only by, nurturing it, make what is ugly beautiful, colour it, form and shape it, but I cannot introduce the original spark of inception. So this would be the reason why females often chooses males that they can sense the potential in. Women can often sense the potential in a man before he can. In the ancient San community it was the role of the women to observe the young boys to see who will make good husbands. It was the women who had to decide when a boy was ready to enter the responsibilities of manhood. A woman who is in harmony with her femininity can sense in a male whether he carries the potential to conceive in her that which she feels inside herself she wants to bring into creation. Then she will be a willing participant to bring forth the creation of the man’s desire.
A woman can sense the connectedness of all and that is why woman can feel the direction of evolution, and will thus choose the men who represents what they can intuitively feel is the way forward. The creative male, the sacred male, the true male without the social conditioning. However, because we have become confused in our gender roles, both men and women’s signals have become confused. Yet deep down if we care to look we know the truth. Take birth control. When the male excepted and gave women the responsibility of birth control, he was in fact saying: ” I am just an irresponsible boy, you cannot trust me to be responsible with that. I do not want to be responsible for my primary purpose that of initiating the spark of creation. Initiating the direction of the future.” So the mothers have taken control of sexuality. Remember it is the male that initiates an idea, etc. in the female. It is the masculine lead of irresponsible actions that showed women to become promiscuous. The female mirrors the male and sets forth to nurture what he has sparked into creation.
Within nature, the alpha male and the alpha female work together for the whole. Neither are lesser, both serves the whole. For me the alpha female should be the full flowering of the qualities of the feminine, standing secure in her intrinsic (innate) strength and value.
“… from the angle of the male, who is also a representative of the spirit, the female is very much a mystery. In fact, if truth be told, the female is equally a mystery unto herself…” Theun Mares
Like a gentle falling rain
on parched land
words of tenderness penetrates me
dormant seeds awake in my soul
push their way through the moist soil
to bloom in fragrant delight
in the light
the touch of the sun
“…in order to unfold our full potential we need to evolve our awareness, and in order to do so we have to separate the known from the unknown. This brings about the splitting of the sexes and, as a result, and depending upon what our approach to unfolding our potential is to be, we incarnate either the male-side or the female-side of our awareness. If it is the male-side, then we have a man’s body and we approach life from the angle of the spirit, that is the known. If it is the female-side, then we have a woman’s body and we approach life from the angle of the tonal, that is, the unknown. However in working with the unknown, it is important to remember that until it has been incorporated into the known, it must of necessity be potential. And in being potential, it is by nature every-thing, positive and negative, light and darkness, male and female, just as within any business there is potential for both success and failure…
Masculinity has it origins in the void. Femininity has its origins in the womb. The womb is still brooding, forever ready to receive and gather. The womb is passive until conception… In practical terms this means that the mystery of the female can never be solved, or the potential of the female can never be realised, unless she can be incorporated into the purpose and therefore also the life, of the male. This is because it is the male which constitutes the known, and therefore also order. From this, it follows that if the male is the representative of the spirit, then he must materialise the purpose of the spirit, and so must incorporate the unknown within the known. But this is the same thing as saying that the male must come to understand his polar opposite, the female. The way in which males and females co-operate in order to make this happen, and realise their full potential, is that the female firstly provides the male with counterbalance; secondly, complements him in every respect; and thirdly, supports him in claiming his power.
Toltecs refer to this dual nature of the female in terms of the mother and the female. Since a mother, as a result of the relative factor of awareness, is masculine relative to her children, irrespective of their gender, Toltecs term the male in the female the mother, and term the female in her simply the female. In any relationship the female can play either the role of the mother, or the role of the true female, and this includes her relationship with men. So, if a woman is a businesswoman and runs her own business, then it is the mother in her, which is masculine in quality, that is running the business. Likewise, if she is a married woman, but finds that she has to make all the decisions, then once again it is the mother in her that is keeping the marriage together. However, realise what this implies, especially in marriages. Quite simply, it means that if your wife is in mother mode, then she does not have a husband, but instead you for a son! Therefore from your perspective you do not have a wife, but a mother to whom you are like a little boy! ” Theun Mares.
You do not have to contemplate in great depth before you can see how far reaching the effects of the above is for the world we live in. You can begin to see why women are more aggressive, why marriages are failing. It is the masculine that determines the shape of relationships.
There are times that it feels to me that the pain I feel in the world around me would engulf me. I feel the tears of pain from my fellow human’s burn in my eyes. Yet, this need not be. I really feel that all the answers to the challenges that the world face, we already know, have been known for a long time, but we have to change ourselves, make an effort to honestly look at our beliefs and reasons for making decisions, and accept the consequences of our mistakes, and do what you can to correct it.
What does it mean to be a male or a female in this world? To deny that we are more than just Bio in our reason for living is denying a part of ourselves. We do know that to deny a part of ourselves causes pain. We feel wounded and react like a wounded animal; Very defensive and aggressive. When I look at the history of mankind so far, I am convinced that the purpose of life is the evolution of awareness. “As I cultivate my own nature, all else follows.” I aspire to my highest inherent possibility. I come into this world with certain capabilities and talents. Before I can move beyond them, I must first bring what I have to full potential. Flower in the fullness of my potential.
I see a wonderful parallel between our inherent individual capabilities and those of ancient Craftsman. Some become average in their trade, do the job just enough to be sufficient, and it works. Others becomes skilled, and a few become masters of their trade. The masters transcend their specific craft and become universal in appeal. He ascends his craft and achieves at the same time the highest skill level of the trade, going beyond its craft to where it becomes the heritage of humanity. I see my individual life as my craft. What is it to be a female or what is it to be the male, being in this world we live in?
Before I go more into the archetypal nature of male and female, I must just say the following. Instinctively, especially as a female one feels this is not fair, it is sexist. Yes, from our (humanity as it is today) still infantile minds it does seem unfair and it is definitely sexist but we can’t get past what we are. Until we have transcended our gender and is living an ascended life, living an ascended relation to ourselves and the world around us, the rules will still apply. Look at the Legal systems it is only those who understand the laws that can bend them. It is not fair that the hurt another caused us must continue to plague us on every level until we say; “I will no longer be a victim, I take charge of my life.” But so it is no matter how much we protest and stamp our feet.
Something to ponder: The feminine represents the unlimited potential and the masculine activates within the feminine the fertility of life. Within her womb the spark of life grows until it is ready to enter the sun-lit vale of the material world. Within the material world the masculine guides the concept into actuality, while the feminine nurtures it to give it the stamina to complete its process to fulfilment.
“When the student is ready the master will be there.”
I used to get so frustrated with those words of wisdom. “Here I am, this student is ripe and ready and where is the master?” Then I thought to myself maybe I just think I am ready but I am not, however that did not stop my yearning to learn. I was born with a hunger for Myth. After I exhausted all available storytellers, and I was fortunate to have quite a few, I could not wait to go to school to learn how to read. As luck would have it one of my parents best friends was the chief librarian at the local library. On weekends and during school holidays I went with her to help in the library, packing away returned books and stamping books, in return I had free reign of the library and I was able to devour every book on myth that I could find.
I never read children’s books. Of course at that age I had no understanding of the deeper meanings but I just felt that somewhere in those ancient stories, were a hidden treasure. Then I started to think that maybe books are the new masters. I must add though that along the way I did find some wonderful masters but was always prevented by physical circumstances to continue my studies with them, not the least reason being in “the utmost end of the world”, under sanctions. But I stray… Even with books I reached a point where I felt that there was just nothing new and I am still yearning. I could open a book flip through it and see that it was just another angle of what I already knew and was practising.
In my adventures into Shamanism I came across something that perplexed me. “In traditional cultures it was mostly the young men who went on quests for a vision, not because a woman couldn’t do it, but because it was not part of her role. ” Urban Shaman – Serge Kahili King. Why was having a vision for the future not part of woman’s role? By now I had learnt that ” Waar daar ‘n rokie is, is daar ‘n vuurtjie.” ” There is no smoke without a little fire somewhere.” Within the heart of the myth there lies an exquisite truth.
Quite by accident one day while browsing through a second hand bookshop I found a book which at last brought me the answer to that question. “The Quest For Maleness” by Theun Mares. He was born in Zimbabwe and is now living in South Africa. “Men and women have discarded the obvious in favour of intellectual complexity, and as a result, have lost touch with their feelings, including those feelings that pertain to the mystery of gender.” Theun Mares. So much is written about the Alpha Male and the Alpha female. The description of the Alpha male is quite clear though distorted into myths that do not bring across the true meaning of maleness. These myths include: Men don’t cry Men are aggressive Men are strong Men must be successful Men are sexual studs As for the Alpha female… well, alas, as someone wrote:” The world’s image, perception of the alpha female is essentially that of the alpha male in drag.”
It is quite clear that we have very distorted images of both what the ultimate in the male and the female should be. No wonder the world is such a “fucked up place”. Excuse the language but it really does describe in the best way where we are with our relationships. As this is such an important subject for our general well being on every level, I feel I need to go into this in greater depth than I thought at first. I will be using Theun Mares’ perspective as a basis because for me, he just hit the nail right on the head as to why we are experiencing such troubles in relationships.
I leave you with the following words from Theun:
” Are there then, no heroes left? Are there no men left on this earth who can step forward to save the world from the greatest catastrophe that has ever befallen the human race? Are all men today so emasculated that they have become nothing more than semen donors, with some doing drugs in a futile effort to numb their minds and feelings to the pain of that emasculation? … Life is not an intellectual process – life is a feeling. ”
I looked for my enemy
And found myself
I looked for myself
And found you.
Through loving we learn and grow. We evolve. It is through my interactions in relationships that I find the most joy in life. This includes relationships on every level. It is however, through my relationships with the opposite sex that I have experienced the greatest chance of evolvement in my life. This holds true for humanity as a whole as well. There would have been no evolution for us as specie if it were not for the interaction between masculine and feminine. We now stand at a point in history where it is possible for the procreation of our specie without the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual interaction of the two sexes.
There are some that argue that we might become asexual. I ask myself are there any other reasons for the interaction between the two sexes other than pure perpetuation of the specie? For me personally there is no question that we are more than just an intelligent physical machine. Something that could be replaced AI. I know what I have experienced. There are some things that man made machines or instruments can not yet register but that I can register with this body I life in.
This wonderful body, this instrument with which I explore the world, my matrix. As you might have gathered by now, I am female. So my perspective of the world is a feminine one and I make no excuse for it. I am female for a reason. With it I am born with an innate curiosity of my opposite sex, the male. For me my opposite sex holds a key to who and what I am. As with all great opposites, the one teaches you more about the other. If the one disappears the meaning of the other would disappear as well. The moon is beautiful in her reflection of the sun. In her darkness she reveals the mystery of the sun. For me it was a personal revelation when I heard that the corona of the sun is best studied during its eclipse. While the sun reveals all in brightness, the moon draws to the surface the in-unseen ways.
The female is symbolic of the mysterious whereas the male is symbolic of the known. The submission of the god to the goddess, the goddess to the god, can only be cyclic. As in all divine opposites, each in its turn dominates and submits, rise and declines, active or inactive, Maat, balance, until they unite in an exquisite eclipse, in a moment of silent eternity, a breathless instant. ”
My brain I’ll prove the female to my soul My soul the father; and these two beget A generation of still breeding thoughts… (King Richard II, Act V, scene 5.)
I am sure that most people have heard of the concepts of Anima and Animus and that within each human being there are masculine and feminine aspects. In short we have to balance those aspects within ourselves to become balanced human beings. In all the inner mysteries this interaction between male and female, masculine and feminine forms an integral part to any form of spiritual transformation. Take Alchemy as an example: …
“(Quicksilver) works at cross purpose with Sulphur, wresting the ‘substance’ from the former, in order subsequently to offer ‘herself’ to ‘him’ as a newer, unlimited and more receptive substance. From a psychological point of view, this is the same as when the attraction of feminine nature dissolves masculine nature from its torpor and at the same time calls forth, as a result of the tension between the two poles, its truly masculine and active power… ‘living gold’ is generated by the perfect union of Sulphur (male, sun) and Quicksilver (female, moon). ” Alchemy – Titus Burchardt
In Tantra there is a method, which operates this alchemical process by increasing the natural attraction between man and woman to the most extreme degree, and then spiritually revaluating it. Tantra Sutra; “When in such embrace your senses are shaken as leaves, enter the shaking.” How do all this relates to our personal interactions with the opposite sex? You are not interested in some great inner spiritual transformation but would like to improve your relationships with the opposite sex? “As above so below…” In my next blog I will go more into how it affects our personal relationships and choices of mates.