Archive for category Musings

Day of Goodwill – Boxing Day

The air is filled with squeals of joy, and the smell of braais as thousands descend on the beach today. December 26, known as Boxing Day, became the Day of Goodwill in South Africa in 1994; a day of giving in loving-kindness.

In the days of sailing ships a Christmas Box was placed on ships by a priest to bring good luck on the journey. Crewmen who wanted to ensure a safe journey would drop money in the box. It was the sealed and kept on board for the entire voyage. If the ship returned home safely the box was handed to the priest. The priest would keep the box sealed until Christmas and then share the contents with the less fortunate.

NauticalCharts-Mermaids by Savanna Redman

Is our life not a voyage of exploration and each year we return to the harbour safely after completing our yearly voyage? Each year we leave the safety of our harbours into uncharted waters, knowing we will face many dangers to reach our goals. Do we also keep a Christmas Box on our vessel? Giving in loving-kindness is a cause of abundant life and good fortune.


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Birth Days – dies lustricus – Naming Day

Today is my birthday, and for me birthdays are like New Year celebrations; a time to reflect and to see what I would like to carry with me into the New Year. So, I wondered where the custom of birthday celebrations with gift giving actually originate from. It appears that long ago it was feared that evil spirits were particularly attracted to people on their birthdays. To protect them from harm, friends and family would to come be with the birthday person and bring good thoughts and wishes Long ago though, most people also did not know on which day they were born and it was mostly kings who celebrated their birthdays. Marcus Aurelius was the first emperor to require birth registration. In ancient Rome a child’s naming day was celebrated, and was called dies lustricus (day of purification). Both boys and girls were presented with the bulla, a locket believed to have magical powers to ward off evil spirits which they did not take it off until they reached adulthood.


Later, some Christians took to celebrating a “naming day,” on the feast day of person’s patron saint after whom the person was named. A patron saint was often chosen because of his or her feast day was on, or near the day a child was born, so a naming day customs became closely linked to the date of birth.

The naming and gift giving associated with birthdays evoked a train of thoughts in my mind.

What you are is God’s gift to you, and what you make of yourself is your gift to God.

On the day we are born we are born with the gifts of who we are. We are given names by our parents or care givers often inspired by what we represent to them, or what our being in becoming evokes in them. Our names can thus also be seen as a symbolic representation of what gifts we have received and what possible gifts we can carry to world. It is in this that perhaps we can most clearly see the “the word made flesh.”

“And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, ‘Let there be light; and there was light”

In the Kabbalah each of the letters of the Hebrew alphabet (Aleph-Bet) represents an energy-intelligence which is the foundation of creation. Thus it is said that to know the energy-intelligences represented by the twenty-two letters is to know the spiritual forces and spiritual principles upon which creation is founded, and thus to gain gnosis of the mysteries of creation. Each of these energy-intelligences is behind all things in creation. Every creature and everything in creation is a unique individual manifestation of these energy-intelligences. One can equate this to the elements of the periodic table; a small set of core elements from which the entire universe is created by combination and permutation.

If we look at the word Adam which represent all of humanity – the Human One; Adam is Aleph-Dam, spirit in the blood and Aleph-Bet means spirit in the house or the house of the spirit. When we are born we become the house of the spirit. The spirit in the blood – our genetic heritage and our individual personalities and abilities forms our house – that through which we interact with in the world. That is the primary gift we given on our day of birth. We are then given names which symbolizes our house of being in becoming.

am the silence that is incomprehensible
and the idea whose remembrance is frequent.
I am the voice whose sound is manifold
and the word whose appearance is multiple.
I am the utterance of my name. . .
I am the hearing that is attainable to everything;
I am the speech that cannot be grasped.
I am the name of the sound
and the sound of the name.
I am the sign of the letter
and the designation of the division. . .
– The Thunder: Perfect Mind – Nag Hammadi Library, gen.ed. James M. Robinson, 1990

In Genesis Adam, the Human One, is called the “name giver,” for he names all creatures and all that appears in creation, both in the material dimension and the metaphysical dimension. To name implies to know and understand, and to know the name of something implies one has the power of that thing. Adam is, thus, the intelligence that perceives the essence and nature of things, the truth of things. Also according to Genesis, Eve is the Mother of All-Life, yet in Hebrew the name Eve (Havvah or Chavah) can refer to speech, as in the verse, “Night to night yeChaveh [will express] Da’at (knowledge)” (Psalms 19:3). Therefore, Eve, who was created by the Living Word of God, represents the power of speech, and the Supernal Eve is pure speech in which the Living Word (Logos – the pattern that connects) and Wisdom (Sophia) of God is expressed.

Many scholars believe the magic word "Abracadabra" derives from the Aramaic Avrah KaDabra, meaning "I create as I speak." According to Kabbalah each one of us are created as the Ratzon (Will/Desire) of God by speaking us into creation- naming us just like the ten utterances of creation in the Genesis. As we are created in the image of God; we too create as we speak. Our Will/Desire gives rise to thought, which arises as “voice” in the mind; then, speaking our thoughts we manifest them, and actions follow our speech. Our actions, or our movement in the world can be seen directly as speech as every move that we make is a word, for every action has a name. Do we bless or curse the world with our speech? Are our speech a gift to the world?

The moving finger writes; and having writ
Moves on; nor all thy piety nor wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a line,
Nor all thy tears wash a word of it.
Omar Kayyams’s Rubiyat

We are the authors of every sentence that we write and move that we make, Everything has a name, so everything is a word and so the world all around us is a book written of which we are contained within. When we read poetry, many of the words are clear and obvious, yet the meaning is often hidden in that which is most obvious. Letters and words do not exist by themselves; everything is in relationship with another. One can only understand the meaning of the words, when one reads the sentence as a whole. If every reaction is linked to its action and all words make sentences, then all that we see before us must be poetry or a story being narrated to us. In our unfolding understanding of who we are, we are still reading the book within which we are a word. Yet, we are also co-authors of this unfolding story.

In our culture and society speech is often devoid or purpose and meaning, could this not be a reflection of the general feeling of life as a meaningless existence? In light of the above I see birthdays from a different perspective. Perhaps the gifts that we receive on our naming days, or birthdays are actually a symbolic question directed to us. What are you doing with the gift you received and what is the gift that you bring to the world? Our birthdays should indeed be called dies lustricus – day of purification – where we sit down and purify our speech so that we may become gifts to the world.

To be human
is to become visible
while carrying
what is hidden
as a gift to others…
— David Whyte

See also: What’s in a Name, Nexus of …

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Janus Views, The Sibyl Speaks


This move coming up for me is not just a normal move. It also brings me to the end of a period of my life. I am moving from the known into the unknown. For many years now, I came to the end of the year and wondered to myself, “What did I know last year this time of what the new year will bring?” Each year has been full of unexpected surprises that opened my eyes to new ways of seeing.

Janus views, looking back, looking forward; the Sibyl speaks …

Throughout time, at the end of a cycle and at the beginning of a new; people have consulted various oracles to try and see what the new cycle will holds for them. No matter, what form of divination, the right question is of the greatest importance when facing the unknown. I have found 5 questions that will give the best perspective in facing the unknown. Five questions do I present to the oracle in facing the unknown.

  1. What I think I should do this coming year?
    This question opens up the door of reason, the logic.
  2. What do I feel I should do this year?
    This question opens the door to intuition, to body knowledge.
  3. What do I wish I would do this year?
    This question opens the door to constructive intelligence.
  4. What would I do if it weren’t impossible?
    This question locates and expands perceived limits and possibilities.
  5. What action plan can I make that encompasses all these possibilities?

I have reached the place where I know the facts about myself, and the world in which I live. I know my strengths, my weaknesses, and I know what brings me happiness. I also know my responsibilities, and physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs. What can I do in this coming cycle to make the Phoenix of myself, rise out of the ashes of my old self?

As the futurists say: ‘The best way to predict the future is to create it.” If you always do what you always did – you’ll always get what you always got. If you don’t actively set goals, your fears become your default goals.”

I watch the moon rise behind the purple mountains. At first, a sliver of a glowing eye, then bright and full. I greet the Bright Lady and let her light penetrate me, purify me. I hold my staff up high and let the reflected fire ignite my wand. In silence, her song erupts in my heart. My body responds to the desire to interpret the ancient song through a dance of the soul. Filled with creative abundance, timeless in origins, I dance in unity with the past and the future. I dance until the song fades and I stand in silent contemplation of nameless mysteries. I breathe in the night in gratitude and close my eyes in silent closure.


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Rites of passage – Soul Encounter

“To be nothing but yourself …in a world which is doing its best, night and day to make you somebody else – Means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.” – E.E.Cummings

For me a house only becomes a home when I have planted my herb garden, lemon and lime tree.The first time I ever became aware of the word herb, it was as if an ancient knowledge base awakened in me. You can say my soul naturally delights in the contact with herbs. For me, human beings without a soul connection, are like a potted plants. Yes it can be fairly healthy, but it seems to need constant first-aid. The potted plant is far less resistant than those with their roots in the earth. Just like a fish in a pond, it can only grow relatively to the size of the pond. When you plant a potted plant out in the earth, there seems to be an immediate added glow about it. We are just like that when we make soul connection.

“At its inception, the ego is naturally narcissistic, but if it develops wholesomely, guided by both soul and nature, it identifies with an increasingly wider slice of life. A mature ego understands the occasional necessity of surrendering to – or being defeated by – a far greater than itself, sometimes during the death-rebirth encounter (when the ego surrenders to soul) and other times during ego transcendence (when ego surrenders to spirit). Ego obstructs personal development when it gets stuck, lost, or entrenched at any life stage – when it resists change, loss, grief, or radical transformation at the hands of the gods and goddesses.” – Bill Plotkin

For us to develop to our full potential it is essential to move past “the stage-stuckness”. Many of us are stuck in the past without even realising it.

Before I go any further, I feel I must give my personal interpretation of what the ego is, as there are so many interpretations of the word, by so many, that it can be confusing.

The ego means I: It is that which I perceive as my present conscious self-awareness. That part of me that makes the decisions between right and wrong, between the choices I face in life. It operates through a personal paradigm, and cognitive style. One’s personality (persona – mask) is projected through the ego. The ego is the container of what you believe yourself to be.

When I speak of Divine, I speak of something being spirit based.

When I speak of Sacred , I speak of something being soul-based.

“Matter is the vehicle for the manifestation of the soul on this plane of existence, and soul is the vehicle on a higher plane for the manifestation of spirit”

Alice A. Bailey

When we are children our senses are open; we explore the world with an open awareness. As we grow older we all too often become too selective in what we choose to experience. Our sensual interaction with the world around us becomes habitual rather than open. We choose to loose our sensitivity rather than be subjected to pain, and so stop feeding our soul.

Modern Living impoverishes the soul. What does normal living in the rat race actually offer the soul as nourishment? The soul’s voice may be quiet, but persistent in its call for us to connect. This call will often manifest within us as a restlessness, a deep yearning for something, and of course depression.

Connecting with the soul, is however, not a Gondola ride, but rather more like White River Rafting. Yet, we need soul connection to evolve, to grow. It might just be the reason why extreme sports are so popular, especially amongst the male population.

“When Dagara boys undergo their initiation ordeals, the people of the village realise that a few boys will never return; they will literally not survive. Why would the Dagara be willing to make such an ultimate sacrifice? For the boys who die, this is certainly not a therapeutic experience. Although the Dagara love their children no less than we do, they understand, as elders of many cultures emphasize, that without a vision – without soul embodied in the culturally creative lives of their men and women – the people will perish. And, to the boys, the small risk of death is preferable to the living death of an uninitiated life. Besides when we compare Dagara society with our own, we find that an even greater percentage of our teenagers die – through suicide, substance abuse, auto accidents, and gang warfare – in their unsuccessful attempts to initiate themselves.”

Bill Plotkin

In South Africa every year, many boys die during the initiation rituals. Some of these “schools” are run by people just out to make a profit and many boys die needlessly in the hands of unskilled operators. Even here the culture of Materialism invades the once sacred institutions. Yet, despite the dangers, many young men will tell you, that they do not feel that they are men, until they have been through initiation. Western culture can numb us, but cannot still the call of the soul. The voice of the soul may be quiet, but it is persistent.

“Look around you. How many Americans, regardless of age, are caught in an adolescant holding pattern, waiting for the time when thet will magically become adult? In the meantime, they will dream the infantile American Dream of wealth and power, addict themselves to alcohol and (legal and illegal) drugs, become enamored of the glittering surface of the material world, fall into puppy love and get married, readily dream the clever dreams manufactured for them by media and politicians, fight their own kind with rocketships, lasers, and nuclear bombs, worship celluloid and stereophonic personalities, become obsessed with sex, wallow in the depths of narcissistic depression, persist in self-destructive excess, dislike having to be responsible for personal actions … These signs of cultural crisis, and many more, point to the inability of culture itself to provide meaningful rites of passage …into expanded stages of growth.” – Steven Foster

Deep inside us the yearning for soul connection will not go away. But not everyone is ready to enter the forge of the soul, and soul connection cannot be pushed. Just as you cannot push to be loved, it has to be earned. Sometimes it happens slowly over time, sometimes it strikes swiftly, unexpectedly. All you can really do is to make the conditions of the self-soil as fertile as possible for soul-growth.

What we lack here in Africa, in material terms, is abundantly compensated by soul experience. You cannot speak about Africa without speaking about the soul. Even the most insensitive soul can feel its tangible presence here. Africans that emigrate always long for it. Here, I have learned to trust the saying; ” What you need to know, will come your way when you need to know.” It has been proven to me over and over again, and sometimes it comes from the strangest sources. I can truly say that I lived a rich soul life, blessed by the humanity around me.

I look back at my life and I am filled with the wonder of the exquisite timing of my unfolding. With grace I step into my being. Through the radiance of my being, my living awakens the seeds of my becoming. Carefree as a child in loving embrace, I trust in my soul’s “knowing of being in place”, that strengthens my body to follow the destiny my spirit presents to me.

“Each individual, being a conception of the divine mind, is held in that mind as a perfect idea … We have been perfectly conceived and are always held in the perfect mind, as perfect beings.”

Trust in your unfolding.

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Hunger and Desire

Persephone in innocent wonder, once beheld a flower of exquisite beauty and scent. In delight she reach for it and was plunged into a world she never expected. The simple act of desire brought division between inner and outer, night and dark, and seasons of being.

If you follow a desire, it will lead you into unexplored regions with unexpected situations. Life and its meaning is not what we think it is when we initially start our journey. The very fabric of life is desire. Desire is the basis of creation, the fiery spark from which life comes into being. When desire ceases to exist we are dying. This applies not only to ourselves as individuals but also to the macrocosm. However conversely, the lack of desire also indicates the end of a cycle and leads to an intermediate phase, a time of gestation for a new phase in which the particular desire is transformed into a higher desire.

Desire manifests as a hunger.

Desire is born in the heart and as I discussed in the “broken heart” we have to experience a broken heart many times before we get to our true heart. The same applies to desire as each layer of encrustation will have within it the embryo of the next layer. What we initially think is our true desire is actually a divine trick that will lead us to our true desire. Our true desire lies in the realm of the unknowable, that which is beyond our present boundary of imagination. That which we cannot imagine we cannot venture towards.

When we begin to explore a desire born in our hearts we actually have no idea as to where it will eventually lead us. Yet, if we are faint hearted in this extraordinary journey called life, we will never get to know who we really are and what our true purpose in the biome of life is. Our lives will lack meaning.

It is however, a journey fraught with very real life-threatening dangers and we might indeed not complete our journey in one life time. Yet, to not follow a desire will most certainly also lead to your death for the very essence of survival lies in desire.

When you lose all desire you will not have the will to survive and without the will to survive which is born out of a desire to explore life in order to fulfil your purpose you are like a body without an immume system. When a human being feels they have no purpose they lose their will to live as we see so much in the world today. In the ecosystem of nature every living creature knows their purpose and so will fight for life to their last breath. Even in so-called primitive cultures the will for survival is much stronger than it is in the sophisticated environment of the developed world because fewer and fewer people can see a place for themselves in the society.

Even inappropriate desires, or desires for hurting even for killing another, mask a deeper desire. Those desires are severely distorted desires of true desires. Although we may choose not to act upon certain desires we still have to look at them to see where they spring from. Here I must mention another aspect linked with desire, for desire itself will remain only in potential unless it is linked with the will to act upon it. Always we have the freewill to act upon a desire or not. We may not have control over what desires arises within us but we do have control whether we act upon it. This in itself is the basis of free will which in turn is linked to the principle of uncertainty. Free will is only possible if there is a principle of uncertainty. If everything is predestined and absolutely certain we will not have freewill for all that freewill actually is, is the right to make choices.

If we choose to act upon a desire we will set in motion a series of causes and affects that will guide us to our true destiny. This is where the principle of karma comes into effect, in that each move we make will set off a chain of reaction that will lead to outcomes which are in effect beyond the horizon of both our vision and imagination.

Destiny is the interplay of both the principle of certainty and uncertainty. The how, when and where is uncertain because it involves our free will but the ultimate outcome is certain. It is like a master chess player playing against a novice. The outcome is certain; the master player will ultimately win, but exactly how the master player will win is uncertain; no one can predict what the moves of the novice will be.

Desire is indeed the golden thread that leads to the center of the labyrinth of who we are; the core self, the heart of our being. Desire is the impulse to manifest the intangible, to actualize and realize that which exist only in potential. This we find expressed in both mythical lore and metaphysical teachings.

Nox and Erebus, entwined rises out of chaos, on the edge of utter chaos. Nox is the unconscious form of nature (creation) and Erebus, the latent divine potency. From their first cosmic and elemental embrace, Eros was born. It is Eros who is the driving force behind the entire theogonia, the unfoldment of thought, the liberating agent who releases and activates the creative process of the mind. It is Eros who awakens the ego to its true nature.

In the Kabbalah, will or desire (Ratzon/Keter) is the first expression of Ain Sof in the creative act, for in order to create and sustain creation, God must will or desire to create and sustain creation. The will or desire is the underlying foundation for all the proceeding levels of existence; the initiating principle of creation. It is an emanation of the bornless spirit of God, which although made distinct in the lower levels of existence, is completely inseparable from the infinite or the eternal. In essence, the first emanation of God’s presence and power is the will or desire to create, which precedes creation itself, and that will or desire is what is called Logos and Sophia – the word (the pattern that connects) and wisdom of God.

The richness, the mystery, almost a sense of adventure is what initially attract us to a particular domain of interest. This sparking of interest is instinctive, intuitive. – rich with possibility, endless nuances “chaos of delight” Charles Darwin – Beagle DIARIES

As above so below. If act on a desire we set in motion the creation of future events. If we truly want to find what connects us to the rest of creation and beyond, the past and the future and the eternal, then we must follow the golden thread of desire. In isolation our lives have no meaning. The force that binds us is indeed also the force that liberates us and is the divine spark within us. When our lives have meaning, they become part of a larger structure. Meaning links the individual to the universal. A lack of meaning means that parts of information does not link up with the matrix of the whole of your consciousness, or with the greater world beyond you.

Without desire life looses its meaning, for we no longer have the pattern that connects us with the whole.

I stared to write this blog with the desire to explore the meaning of life and it has indeed led me to the unexpected. When you follow a desire it will also lead you to a place where you will meet an obstacle that will make it seemingly impossible to proceed, and it will feel as if you have indeed lost the desire itself because the obstacle appears just too great. However, if you look into the depths of yourself you will find that the desire did not actually die, that in fact the yearning for that which initiated the desire has become even greater. Now however, it is time for that desire to enter a time of transformation and out of the dry spell will be born something much greater than you could have imagined.

Following a desire is like entering a romantic relationship. Thomas H. Green describes in his book “When the Well Runs Dry” that there are three basic stages of interior growth which correspond to the stages of growth in any romantic relationship. These stages I found to be true in my own spiritual life. The spiritual life is after all an intimate relationship we forge with the Divine and intimate relationship is born out of an initial desire. As with falling in love we strongly feel that destiny has led us to that particular chance meeting; like finding a needle in a haystack. Perhaps even the analogy of using a magnet to find the needle will not be inappropriate, the magnet of course being our personal resonance.

Once we have fallen in love, the three stages will kick in and we must decide whether we want to take it further. The first stage is getting to know the beloved; getting to know that which you desire.

To proceed in a relationship we must first purify our hearts and souls of all that blocks love, thus sacrifice those feelings and emotions that are not of a loving nature. If we decide to proceed with the relationship we will then spend perhaps several years to get to know the beloved before we can move from falling in love to being in love. At this stage in a romantic relationship, we will feel that the passionate feeling have disappeared and we might feel that there is something wrong with the relationship, perhaps we might even feel that we made the wrong choice and end the relationship in search for a better one, or perhaps even abandoning the quest completely having lost faith altogether. This is when the relationships have reached the second part or as Thomas Green calls it; “From Loving to Truly Loving.”

He explains that the love we felt in the beginning, may be but a pale shadow of the genuine love which we discover in the drought, in the dark night” of both a relationship and in our spiritual relationship with the divine. It was good to move from the head to the heart, but now we must learn by experience that “heart” is an ambivalent word; it involves our emotions, but it also involves our will … love which is strongly emotional is essentially self-seeking, concerned with its own pleasure and delight. It is this kind of ‘love’ which makes for intense courtships and short marriages, since the well of emotion will surely run dry.

 Perhaps for all of us, the biggest challenge we face in life is finding who we really are; distilling our essence. When you know your true desire, you will know your unique essence. When you know your unique essence, you will operate from a point of integrity, it is simply no longer possible not to. I am not talking about thinking about who you are, but to know who you are, thus to have gnosis of yourself. This is akin to the difference between Theology and Theosophy. Theology means “thinking about god” and Theosophy means “God’s wisdom.” Yet, in both cases we are trying to fathom the unfathomable. In regard to Theology we are trying to reason who are, and in regard to Theosophy we are trying to experience who we are.

Through life’s experiences combined with knowledge, we begin to gain a perspective into who we are, yet, we will reach a stage when we find ourselves in a state of confusion, as one experiences in the Dark Night of the Soul, and you have to admit that who you thought you were, you not really are. What we thought we desired is not truly what we desire.

Going within, we must go deeper still, into the depths of being, the heights of being, passing beyond to enter into the inmost part of the soul, that holy sanctuary of the unique essence .

Rudolf Steiner likened destiny to a hunger: “The human being, when he is born, hungers to do what he does, and he does not give up until he satisfies this hunger.” When we feel a physical hunger, it dominates our choices. When we long for the fulfilment of sexual desire, an appeasement of hunger, there can be no denial of our orientation. Real spiritual desire is a raw as these. We are born with a hunger of some kind that needs fulfilment. It is this hunger that steers our destiny.

One could then see destiny as comprising out of three elements; will, word and becoming or internal desire, expression of that desire, impression of that desire on the external world. “Oftentimes in denying yourself pleasure you do but store the desire in the recesses of your being Who knows but that which seems omitted today Waits for tomorrow? Even your body knows its heritage and Its rightful need and will not be deceived. And your body is the harp of your soul And it is yours to bring forth sweet Music from it Or confused sounds –  Kahlil Gibran

The hunger becomes the ‘intent’ because it directs the awareness (the focus) as well as the activity. Focus brings into awareness what you choose to experience. This automatically makes your awareness selective, to fulfil the intent. It is only when we understand the underlying laws of cause and effect that we can achieve any kind of freedom. In the world we live, we are constantly reminded that ignorance of the law does not free you from the penalties you have to pay for breaking it. So logic would have it that the more knowledgeable we are of the laws, the more freedom you will have. The laws of transformation, that demand that we do indeed grow, govern us all. Whether we do it consciously or unconsciously The degree of our freedom depends on the level of our consciousness.

When we blame the external for our challenges,’ just fate, bad luck’, we put ourselves at the mercy of the external, in the hands of fate. If, however, we except responsibility for all that happen to us, we can become the masters of our fate. Freedom comes from inside of us, from the seeking of self-mastery through self-knowledge.

“Self-evolution converts fate into freedom… From a spiritual mind’s eye, history is far from being a random interplay of individuals, societies, and events. Deep below its chaotic surface runs a subterranean river of evolving, ever transforming consciousness, It is this rhythmic, flowing stream which carries humanity from egoless primitivity through cultural complexes towards higher stages of individuality. Thus the sovereign self dips itself time and time again into this river of becoming, continually cleansing the past and adding to its treasure of experience and planetary participation… The I is incontrovertibly committed to its own progress and the world’s evolution – … Time and time again we are free to attract and grasp experience as we ascend the ladder of being and convert potential into actual, imperfection into perfection… Human biography is the transformation of experience into psychological and spiritual growth… Our corporeal body is the magnificent instrument by which soul and spirit express the themes of our destiny. Could Rudolf Nureyev dance in the body of George Bernard Shaw, or Sarah Bernhardt speak through the larynx of Madam Curie? Destiny… is the process whereby we gradually fill eternity and make it personal. Moment by moment, we select for action some of the possibilities swarming out of the future…” William Bryant – The Veiled Pulse Of Time (Life Cycles & Destiny)

 Whatever our personal interpretation of fate and destiny, one thing we can be sure of, that in the present lies our freedom to shape our destiny. The patterns of our past will shape our destiny if we allow it. In the present we have the opportunity to change our ideas and therefore the effects of the past; and to change the future by changing our current patterns. 

What secret thoughts
threads my dream?
Soft flowing moonlight river
flowing from an unknown distant past
Thoughts leaping like salmon
glittering memories
swimming upstream

A haunting desire
calling me back
to the spawning pool
of my ancient source
where time again arises
new thoughts
secretly threading
a dream of a perfect future.

Swim salmon of my dreams
Let your desire and skill
knowledge of the reverse current
that flows secretly
beneath the surface current
take you safely to the place
of your distant birth
dreams of the beloved
daring you to defy
all the dangers
that awaits along
the arduous journey

When you reach
that sacred pool
leap high and catch
the nut of secret wisdom
and awake to new wonder
by the banks of that sacred river.

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Medusa’s Mask


 Within the gentle glow of Lady Dawn
arms raised in salutation
Solemnly I made my Vow

A hunger burns inside me
I desire to know,
Spirit of truth
shine your light
illuminate my ignorance

I desire it with all of my
Purify me
Prepare me

The Lady of Sorrow
Stood before me
Infinitely dark radiant eyes

I see your fervor abate somewhat at the sight of me
Are you not glad to see me?

My Lady, with respect, even brave men’s hearts quiver at the sight of thee.

 Did you not ask to see the light of truth?
Am I not the sister of joy?
Where joy is, there I am too.
Can one exist without the other?
To know the Bliss of Between
You must know both the depth of joy
and the depth of sorrow

Do you know the meaning of your Vow?
She asked tenderly

The hunger burns
consequences unknown

 She held out to me
a flower of such exquisite beauty
the like of which never I did see

A yearning stirs
to know
the depths of it’s scent
to inhale the intoxicating fragrance

 The Lady ‘s dark hem touched my heart
and I shivered

Dare you inhale
its fragrance?
Konx om Pax
Beware who dares

A cold fever seized me
Hot and cold sweeps
in and out
of me
each battling for possession

in feverish dreams
of joy and sorrow

The Medusa wandering
in lonely eons of exile
as each heart turned to stone
who dared to look

In her sorrow and anger
she did not see him coming
A flash of light and sword
A moment’s chilling glimpse
of her own monstrous face
before the dark stillness

I awoke in the arms of my Beloved.
He caressed my brow with infinite tenderness

 Love is the light of truth
He said simply,
and smiled

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Good and Evil

Am I good or evil? If there be only me Could I be good or evil? The only evil I ever felt, I felt in my dreams. Does it mean that the only evil that exist, exist in me? Even a casual glance at history shows that ‘good and evil’ works together to create our collective evolution. “On the one hand evil is necessary for good, for were the imperfections not felt, there would be no striving after perfection; all defect and sin consist merely in privation; in the non-realisation of possible qualities. It would not be well were evil non-existent, for it makes for the necessity of good, since if evil were removed the desire of good would also cease.” (Bruno) J.L. Mc Intyre, Giordana Bruno. ”

Just as a cabbage does not grow unless it is manured, as little can beauty blossom on earth unless, the earth is manured with ugliness.” Rudolf Steiner What is the difference between what is good and what is evil? “Good is when you carry away somebody else’s wives and cows, and evil is when yours are carried away from you.” I think of the following old Russian tale of The Two Hermits ….

 “Two hermits had gone out into the Nitrian Desert to save their souls. Their caves were not far distant from each other, but they themselves never talked together, except that they occasionally sang psalms, so that they could hear each other. In this way they spent many years, and their fame began to spread in Egypt and the surrounding countries. It came to pass that one day the Devil managed to put into both their minds simultaneously one and the same desire, and without saying a word to each other they collected their baskets and mats made of palm leaves and branches, and went off to Alexandria. They sold their work there and then for three days and three nights they sought pleasure in the company of drunkards and sinners, after which they went back to their desert.

And one of them cried out in bitterness and agony of the soul:” I am lost eternally! Cursed am I! No prayers and penance can atone for such madness, such abominations! All my years of fasting and prayer gone for nothing! I am ruined, body and soul!” The other man, however, was walking by his side, singing psalms in a cheerful voice. “Brother,” said the repentant one, “have you gone mad?” “Why do you ask that?” “But why aren’t you grieving?” “What should I grieve about?” “Listen to him! Have you forgotten Alexandria?” ‘ What about Alexandria? Glory to God who preserves that famous and God-fearing City!” “But we, what did we do in Alexandria?” “You know well enough yourself what we did; we sold our baskets, worshipped St. Mark, visited other churches, called on the pious governor of the city, conversed with the good prioress Leonilla who is always kind to monks…” “But didn’t we spend the night in a house of ill fame?” “God save us! No! We spent the evening and the night in the patriarch’s court.” “Holy martyrs! He has lost his mind…

Where then did we treat ourselves to wine?” “We partook of wine and food at the patriarch’s table on the occasion of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin.” “Poor, miserable creature! And who was it whom we kissed, not to mention worse things? Are you making a fool of me? Or has the Devil himself entered your soul as punishment for yesterday’s abominations? They were wretched libertines, you blackguard, that you kissed!” “Well, I don’t know which of us the Devil has entered; Whether he has entered me, who am rejoicing in the gifts of God and in the benevolence of the godly priests, and am praising my Creator-or whether he has entered you, who are now raving like a lunatic and calling the house of our blessed father and pastor a house of ill fame.” “Oh, you heretic! You offspring of Arian! Accursed mouth of Apollinarius!” At this the hermit who had been grieving over his lapse from virtue fell upon his comrade and began beating him. When the outburst was over they returned silently to their caves.

All night long the repentant one wore himself out with grief, filling the desert with his groans and cries, tearing out his hair, throwing himself on the ground and dashing his head against it, while the other quietly and happily sang his psalms. Next morning the repentant one was struck by a sudden thought: “By my many years of self-denial I had been granted a special blessing of the Holy Spirit which had already begun to reveal itself in miracles and apparitions. And if after this I gave myself up to the abominations of the flesh, I must have committed a sin against the Holy Spirit, which, according to the word of God, is for all eternity unpardonable. If, however, I am irrevocably doomed, what can I do in the desert?” And so he went to Alexandria and gave himself up to a wanton life.

It so happened that soon afterward he badly needed money, and, in company with other dissolute fellows like himself, murdered and robbed a wealthy merchant. The crime was discovered; he was tried by the city court, sentenced to death, and died an unrepentant sinner. At the same time his old friend, continuing his life of devotion, attained to the highest degree of saintliness and became famous for his great miracles. When finally the day of his death arrived, his decrepit and withered body suddenly became resplendent with the beauty of youth. A wondrous light surrounded it; from it proceeded the perfume of sweet spices. The pilgrims both committed every other crime, but only one met his doom – the one who became despondent.” Vladimir Slovyov – War, Progress and the End of History

Never give up.

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Idiots, Morons and Imbeciles

All that we know is nothing, we are merely crammed waste-paper baskets, unless we are in touch with that which laughs at all our knowing.  -D H Lawrence

I received a post from “Seriously” on the subject of who is more stupid Idiots or Morons:

The first thing I did was to reach for my favourite dictionary (before I saw the rest of the post), Chambers’s Twentieth Century Dictionary (1901). To my surprise there was no word “moron” in it, only the word morology. Morology means foolish talk and comes from the Greek word moros, a fool. At first I thought something must be wrong with my eyes, otherwise why can’t I find it? Then I realized that the word moron must be relatively new.

So, I did a search to find out when it first came into common use;

Moron was originally a scientific term, coined around 1912 by psychologist Henry Goddard from a Greek word meaning “dull” or “foolish”, and used on the English version of the “Binet Scale” of human intelligence. The Binet Scale was developed in the early 1900’s by Alfred Binet, a French psychologist and inventor of the first usable intelligence test, the basis of today’s IQ test. The Binet Scale went approximately as follows:

Normal —– IQ 85-115
Deficient —- IQ 71-84
Moron —— IQ 51-70
Imbecile —- IQ 26-50
Idiot ——– IQ 0-25

The words were rather popular since 1970s until there came some changes. Today both of these words have been changed in the IQ test with mild, moderate and severe retardation which is not a great word either, from what I know we use the word physically challenged now and not retarded anymore. 

Now the words, imbecile, idiot or moron are words that I personally never use, because lets face it no matter how brilliant you are, in some areas of life, you will act like an idiot, moron or imbecile. Idiot savant is another matter altogether.

“The word idiot usually refers to a simpleton, in contrast to the word “savant” in French that means “learned one.” Idiot savants are a subgroup of a class of people called idiots with an IQ of about 25. Idiot savants are a group of humans that are incapable of learning, writing or reading, yet they have unlimited access to specific, accurate knowledge in the fields of mathematics, music, and other precise areas. Now the irony of an idiot-savant is that this group of individuals does not acquire knowledge by learning as the average human does. They mysteriously ‘know’ explicit, exact, correct information. One may wonder: “How do idiots savants know certain information or possess certain skills?” By whatever means they obtain this information, they undermine current definitions about intelligence. Does their knowledge show that a source of intelligence exists? Is it possible to tap into this source and not know of its existence?

Dr. Joseph C. Pearce states the following about the general nature of the idiot savant. “so far as can be observed, the savant has not acquired, could not acquire, and is quite incapable of acquiring, the information that he so liberally dispenses. If we furnish the savant with the proper stimulus, a question about the specialty, he gives the appropriate response, but can’t furnish himself with that stimulus, can’t develop the capacity as an intelligence and can’t move beyond his narrow limits (Evolution’s End, p. 5).”

There are all types of theories that try to explain how an illiterate and untrainable idiot can have access to unlimited accurate information in a certain field. Some theories try to explain the idiot savants by genetic and biological abnormalities. Howard Garndner in his book Frames of Mind believes that genetic and environment factors create idiot savants. Professor Garndner thinks that arithmetic calculations of the idiots savant are: “based upon the relative sparing or proliferation of certain brain areas: like hyperlexia, it represents an automatic, impossible-to-stop-process (p. 156),” This theory still does not explain how the people obtained this knowledge.

Other modern theories use the principles of quantum physics, specifically Bell’s theorem, to explain idiots savants.. Simply put, these theories define intelligence as “fields of potential,” in the same way that magnetic fields interact with iron filings. In this theory, an idiot savant’s brain receives this information directly from a non-local source forming these “fields of knowledge.”

Quoting Dr. Joseph C. Pearce in his book about the cause of the idiots savant, he says an idiot savant “is pre-disposed to the intelligence of his specialty through some early infant-childhood experience that activates a “field of neurons (brain cells) ” capable of translating from field of intelligence,” within narrow limits (Evolution’s End, p. 6).”
John Davidson in his book “The Formative Mind” writes about an idiot savant from Canada, Daniel. “Daniel’s forte is making electronic toys. But his methodology is bizarre. He simply sticks a transistor here, a resistor there, a capacitor somewhere else, a bulb in one corner and a switch in another. He does not even wire them together. They appear to be randomly glued on to a piece of perspex. Yet when he switches them on, the bulb lights up. In fact, when anyone switches them on, even when he is not in the room, and he is involved with something else, they light up. So any constant psychokinetic influence from Daniel’s mind is ruled out.

Clearly, Daniel can see, in his mind, the inner structure of energy patterns at the subatomic and vacuum state levels. Unhampered by preconceived ideas concerning what is and what is not possible, and working along the mind energy hierarchy into physical manifestation, he is simply rearanging the energy patterns of physical manifestation to do his bidding. From his point of view, he is simply playing with his toys and wants them to light up. With both a direct mental perception and manipulative capability, he arranges the structure of the vacuum state and its manifested subatomic particles to take on the patterns he desires.

Some of the scientists who have witnessed Daniel’s toys in operation and even taken them to their laboratories for testing, have been reduced to tears, stating that all that they had been taught and believed in appeared to have been turned upside down. – Perhaps, although he cannot explain himself as we might like, he is also trying to tell us something…”

(For more on Idiot savants see my post: Imago – Just my imagination)

I believe he is. So often we ignore people with disabilities, reject those who “dance to a different drumbeat”; but are they not showing us perspectives on our visions of reality that we could not have seen otherwise? They are giving us insights into our potential as Human beings. How clear it is how our differences help to reveal alternate aspects of our reality.

To add more food for thought on the subject of idiots and morons, I would like to quote from the following post.

But I always wonder if there is such thing as an IQ, I mean where would you place a person who works day and night, feeds his family, respects everyone, loves his family, does lots of great things for society, but at same time have a low IQ, to be honest for me the person would be a great living being compared to all the other people who have great IQ but are totally idiots.

Interestingly, ages are also added to the categories of classifying Idiots (below three years), Morons (seven to twelve years) and Imbeciles (three to seven years).

If we look at the areas of our lives where we act like idiots, Imbeciles, or Morons could it not point to the ages in our life’s passage where we received the wounds that we have not resolved in ourselves yet?

(See: The Wound – The Shadowlands)

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Hineini, Here I am

We can longer continue to live life as we always had. We have to look for new ways to find our way ahead or perish, whether physically or just shut down psychologically. Of course what we are seeing is the result of our cultural inheritance, our thoughts and ideologies we have based our existence on. We followed this path and it has shown us that what we thought was a good idea to base our lives on, was not such a good idea in practice. We have to change our very way of being in this world, the very basis of what we deem important. We can equate the state of the world to being lost.

Imagine that you are lost.

You have tried every way possible but you have to admit to yourself that you are lost. Fear starts in your groin and works its way up to your belly and down to your knees. Your heart races. You want to shout for help. Your body trembles and your head whirls. Your breath grows shallow and rapid. Your heart beats quicker. Now after the panic, you will notice that your skin begins to tingle. You become awake and aware. Your senses grow sharp and clear. The sounds, colours, textures, and edges of things become distinct and radiant. You are fully present, and very much in your body. Now thoughts slow down and become crystalline. What will you do? All of a sudden your world has shrunk; here you are …. You don’t know which way is home. It sinks in that you are really lost. Gradually you become aware that everything you can count on now is right here, and you have no guarantee there will ever again be anything else. You find yourself in a radical place of present-centeredness. You are lost to everything you thought was important, old goals are irrelevant, and yet here you are. – Bill Plotkin

In Exodus 3: Moses comes upon the burning bush.

4 And when the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said: ‘Moses, Moses.’ And he said: ‘Here am I.’

5 And He said: ‘Draw not nigh hither; put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.’

Hineini is the Hebrew term for “Here am I.” Hineini is for me one of the most beautiful words in existence. Incorporated in its expression is a profound humbleness, an utter nakedness, a sacred silence, a willing surrender. Here I am now as I am. It is a moment of Holiness when we can stand in the true spirit of Hineini, and indeed “the ground is holy ground.” It is in the “radical place of present-centeredness.“ where we encounter the Holiest of Holies – Eheieh Asher Eheieh – I Shall Be That I Shall Be – I Am what I Am, thus our true Self.

This is what these times are bringing us, a time to find our true values, who we really are, naked and devoid of previous agendas,and goals, open to find new ways of being in this world. once we do that we will realise too that all we do and all we think affects not only ourselves, but our whole environment and all it contains, the womb of our existence. When allow the whirlwind of our thoughts and ideas, the earthquake of our actions, the fire of our emotions to subside we can the truly say Heneini Here I am.

In saying “Here I am,” we reveal ourselves. Someone has been calling us and we answer the call. We reveal ourselves, make ourselves present for whomever has been calling us. In saying “here I am, “ we make ourselves available to relate, to interact. Although it is a profound moment of recognizing the Self, you simultaneously recognize the Other. It is as if in revealing yourself you recognize that you are not an insular being but exist solely because you can relate to the Other, the Beloved. Hineini, Here I am so that I may serve you with my talents and abilities. I have certain unique qualities not to get money and power but to use those qualities to serve the womb of my existence, this planet and all that are present in it. To say “Here I am” means that you no longer only belong to yourself, for you are giving the presence of your being to the one whose call you answered.. To truly say Here I am, means saying that I will try with all of being to be present for you. Is this not the true Hieros Gamos? Two separate beings, fully present serving a shared goal? The double edged sword with one point?

It is one of the great mysteries and mystical experiences that in finding yourself you find the Other, the Beloved, at the same time. It is much like during meditation where you focus your intention and instead of arriving at a singular point the whole opens up. We have come from an era where everyone has been trying to find who and what they are, yet the more individualism has been developed the more a sense of isolation has become prevalent in society, and the more the feeling of being lost has become the norm. It is because we have forgotten to say “Hineini, I am.” I am what I am, because you are what you are. I exist only because you exist. If we are looking for a way ahead in these times, we must realize that the Age of Hieros Gamos is dawning. The era that has been, has led us to search for ourselves as separate individuals, a natural stage in our evolution. However, if we want to enter a new stage of our conscious evolution we must turn to each other and say “Heinini, Here I am” Together, without childish insecure egoistic agendas, let us be truly present for each other and see how we can solve these challenges we face now.

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Organic Wisdom – Tasting Life

Credo Vusamazulu Mutwa is not a man you will ever forget once you have met him. Larger than life in every way, he is by far the most unforgettable person I have met. Credo is a true Renaissance man; he is a Zulu lore master, High Priest, a prophet, a poet, a painter and sculptor, and the best story teller I have come across. You can sit and listen to him open mouthed, without ever tiring. I feel like a child in his presence, wanting to ask for more. You can ask him any question you can think of and he will come up with an amazing answer. I have been extremely fortunate to be able to sit around the camp-fire listening to his stories.

Credo had very little formal education, but experts often call on him to provide another perspective. He is a man of natural wisdom. On one occasion I was at Credo’s house on a Sunday morning, after a whole night of initiation ceremony. The drumming had quieten down and most of the attendees were trying to get a nap. a Gospel band named The Arch Bishops arrives and proceeded to march through the house in full swing, announcing their arrival. While they were waiting to speak to Credo I had a chance to speak to them. I was very curious as to why a Christian group would want to see Credo a known Pagan. Their answer surprised me, “we have come to learn more about God.”

In a world that is so specialized, with experts advising in every field, there is still no equal in insight compared to that of organic wisdom; knowledge that have grown through the tasting of life. In the experience of life we taste and absorb experience as nourishment of the soul. Its sweetness or bitterness both alike enrich our being and create depth to our insights. The mere accumulation of knowledge has no value unless it has been tried and tested.

I often mourn the loss of apprenticeships; generations of knowledge acquired through practice of the craft, lost, unless it is passed on. There are seemingly insignificant details that books do not mention as it is taken for granted. Yet, those little details make all the difference in the mastership of skill. Life is an apprenticeship to the craft of living. In learning the craft it is most often the mistakes, accidents and crisis experienced in the practice that refines the skill and brings new insights that thoughts alone could not achieve.

“It sometimes takes a crisis for parts to appreciate the value of the whole.”

The following article and the tale told exemplify for me organic wisdom. It contains timeless truth within the words of a simple man. It contains the kind of wisdom that we so sorely need in our times. We live in a time of crisis, a time where we have the opportunity to experience the value of the whole. All we have to do is reach out to one another with genuine caring. There was a time when we listened to the wisdom of the elders. Wisdom organically grown and harvested from experience is what we need most in these times.

 Teller of tale

By Simao Kikamba

My father had two ways of teaching me: one by putting me through a test and one by telling me a story and drawing the relevant lesson from it. He never went to school and could not read or write but he was a gifted teacher

When I was young, he once let me touch fire. I remember burning my finger and crying from pain, thinking how cruel of him to let his son go through such an experience, wondering why he hadn’t kept me from the fire. Nevertheless, I never played with fire again.

“Why did you once let me touch fire?” I asked him once as I was growing up. I had never forgotten the experience.

“So you could learn to never play with fire,” he said.

This is how he taught me the virtue of patience…

One evening, as Mama was serving supper, just as I had finished washing my hands, impatiently waiting to be served my share, my father decided to send me out to collect the kola nuts he’d left at his friend’s place at the other end of the village.

“Can I please eat first, father?”

“Your meal can wait.”

“I am hungry.”

“Patience is a virtue.”

Reluctantly, I got to my feet and ran, tripped halfway there, fell and stood up again. When I finally reached the place, my father’s friend made me wait till he finished doing whatever he was doing what he was doing. When he finally handed me the kola nuts in a bowl, it was night.

I ran back and tripped and fell down, scattering the kola nuts all over the ground. I wasted more time trying to find the kola nuts. By the time I reached home, my father, my mother and my sisters had finished eating supper. Father thankfully took his bowl of kola nuts and made me sit down and wait.

My stomach was churning with hunger and I could have eaten my father if he were food. I waited and waited till he got to his feet, stepped inside the house and brought out double my normal share of supper. From that day on, I always waited whenever my father asked to do so. One evening, as we sat round a fire, he told me this story…

On a clay mound once inhabited by termites by the roadside on the fringe of the equatorial forest, lay a twinkling pair of eyes. The eyes were joined by the upper bone of the nose and resembled a pair of glasses. The eyelids were brownish, the eyelashes dark, the iris of sapphire blue and the cornea of diamond white colour.

As they shone with the vermilion rays of the rising sun, they glinted with flashes of green sprinkling from the surrounding foliage. None of the inhabitants of the forest t-moths, butterflies, bees, rats, antelopes and so on, could resist such beauty and would each stop to admire such alluring creatures.

“Shame!” they would exclaim. “What adorable little eyes!”
“How strange!” thought the eyes, basking in their admiration and wishing they, too, possessed feet to walk and arms to hug each of their admirers. “How strange that although they all have feet to walk and hands to touch, a mouth to speak, they will covet two lovely eyes stuck on a mound!”

As the sun gradually rose towards the zenith, the eyes rolled, blinked, winked and even dozed off from heat. A large grey cloud soon appeared up in the sky, and the sky growled and thunderbolt after thunderbolt crackled, and a storm fell, washing the eyes off their resting place all the way down to the foot of the mound.

Covered in mud, the eyes could no longer see and they cried and cried and swelled up from crying. Night fell and morning dawned and the early morning dew drizzled over the eyes and washed them clean so they could see again. It was a bright morning, with swallows skipping from tree to tree. Then came, bouncing along and tumbling a pair of legs. Near the mound they stopped and as if they could see with invisible eyes, they thought to themselves:

“What beautiful eyes!”

“What pretty legs!” thought the eyes. Neither of them had a mouth to speak to the other.

The legs, bruised from tumbling along a thorny path without seeing, leaned against the mound to gather strength before they could resume their long journey. As the legs walked around the mound after resting, the eyes were struck at the harmony of the legs, one never walking without the other.

For a while, the eyes and the legs shared the comfort of the mound, next to each other, without a word passing between them, each confined to their own thoughts, until came the mouth to serve as their interpreter.

“How do you do?” asked the eyes through the mouth.

“How do you do?” replied the legs through the interpreter.
“Do you always walk like this?” asked the eyes.

“Always,” replied the legs quite proudly. “I throw one step, then another, left and right, right and left.”
“Why?” asked the eyes, rolling with admiration.

“For balance,” said the legs, a little irritated.

“For balance?” echoed the eyes. “You have been tumbling along like a loose barrel.”

“As you can see, I can’t see,” said the legs with a choking voice. “It takes eyes to see.”

“It takes legs to walk,” said the eyes.

“You could see for us,” said the legs.

“And you could walk for us,” appended the eyes.

The eyes rolled and twinkled with joy, while the legs leapt about the foot of the mound with excitement. The eyes seeing, the mouth speaking and the legs walking, they set in search of other parts of the body.

However, a dispute broke out. The mouth had eaten too much and the stomach complained of pain, the legs of tiredness and the eyes of dizziness. The body disintegrated with each part going its own way.

“But because no part could function properly without the rest of the body, they decided to reintegrate the body, each deciding to never leave the body ever again.

“It sometimes takes a crisis for parts to appreciate the value of the whole,” my father concluded.

  • Simao Kikamba grew up in Zaire. His début novel, Going Home, is being published by Kwela Books

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